[baby]

Hi- I don’t know what to do! My husbands a hard working man and gives me all the money to pay everything. Am I being petty or not ? He likes a drink most nights whether it’s few cans or sometimes none. Come weekend he takes cocaine regularly and has done for many years. He is always happy, never takes time off work and can’t see the coke habit being a problem. He says it’s what most people do on a weekend ( it’s just like having a few drinks). I don’t agree and want him to stop it but he said he won’t. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo …. what should I do?

[sebo27]

Is this a new thing or did you know this about him before you were married?

I am quite liberally minded when it comes to recreational drugs and alcohol used responsibly. There is also a ‘more reasonable time’ in a person’s life to be doing such things and for many it’s a phase they go through in their early 20’s and then calm down and start looking after themselves better. But many people don’t calm down and develop long term problems with addiction. You don’t mention your age.

Money aside, his work aside, does the alcohol and drug use affect your relationship? Only you can decide if you’re not happy spending your home life with a man who’s not clear minded 7 nights a week.

I have seen relationships where handing the money across to run the house rapidly develops into a situation where he feels like he is buying his right to do what he wants. Like I say, I don’t know you or your husband but I would be concerned about drinking every night, no matter how small the quantity, and binging at the weekends “because.”

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you feel you don’t know what to do about your husband’s drinking and drugs habit. If you would like some support for yourself then maybe contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports people dealing with a family member’s addiction.

Our Family Friends are well trained and very experienced and one of them would talk with you if you get in touch. Maybe that would help you to know what to do next.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[Author]

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