[sarah]

My husband of 14 yrs has drank heavily for the last few years. Its always been a big part of his life. all his hobbies involved having a few drinks afterwards but over the last yr his drinking has increased.
He had a lot of problems a work and used alchol “to numb himself” when he got home from work. He always got up 4 work and went with no problems, but would buy beer on the way home. He was eventually made redundant and started drinking more, but he has NEVER drank during the day his 1st drink would normally b about 4pm. It got the the stage where he was drinking 2 bottles of white wine and around 4 cans of beer every nite and he wanted 2 stop, so went 2 c dr.
His gp gave him info 4 alchol services and hes done the withdrwal process and its now been 3 weeks since his last drink. R friends find it hard 2 understand that he has a prob as he never drank durning the day!
My husband had lost control of his drinking and wanted 2 regain the control but last week his dr told him, that he feels he should never touch alchol again as he does not have the control to “just have a few drinks at the wk end”. This has hit us both hard. for him because he wanted 2 b in control of his drinkin not stop all together 4 ever. and 4 me as we have a close group of friends and that friendship has been built over time through bbq’s and get togethers which all involve alchol. I am an occasional drinker, ill drink when we go out but not normally at home. We went round 1 of r friends last nite and it was so hard 4 my husband. he said he was bored and felt like hes no fun. I also was not drinking (2 support him) but apparently thats annoyed him. as its him with the prob not me!!
Has anyone been in a similar position? i dont know what 2 do from 1 day 2 the next. I desperatly want 2 help and support him, but im worried in reality what ever i do ill b in the wrong.
hes got a new temp job, and has settled into that well its the whole evening and wkend time thats causing me the worry.

[hedgehog]

Hi, my husband like your drank to unwind after work and ended up doing about 17 pints – he always believed that he could control his drink and he just had his 3rd detox- and yet again having been away with friends who promised not to let him drink he’s back drinking just found yet another empty crate in the garage.
Hope this email finds you in a better position than I am – believe me suggest he doesn’t ever drink again and change your lifestyle

[valentine49]

After two detoxes my husband was dry for 16 months,almost to the day. It was so good to have him back but then he thought he could handle the odd one too. Now he is back to drinking almost every day. Not as much as I have read others do but enough to change his personality from a loving, caring, thoughtful man to an aggressive, rude, insulting,hand wielding monster. To make things worse, I believe a GP told him he would be ok having the occasional drink? ! NO NO it doesn’t work. He was ok with others drinking around him, even encouraged it, but I don’t know what the trigger was but we are back to square one and he doesn’t think he has a problem. I wish you luck.

[blondie]

This was like reading mt story, (Blondie). The despair I feel I cannot explain. I want to just run away, every activity, on holiday or going out has to end in a “few beers ” and then of course he buys some on the way home and carries on. An alcholic mother, uncle and grandfather didnt help his view on anchohol I guess. After 19 years together, I know it is alcohol causing his problems with work mental health etc and them causing him to drink. This is whjat he cannot see, he says his “enjoys” drinking so why shouldnt he do it. ? I hope your problerm gets resolved. I cannot ever see my husband stop drinking.

[Author]

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