[dl5]

Hi

My son is 19 and living with us in family home. When he drinks with us he is fine, no problems at all.

When he goes out with mates he has a couple of drinks then starts making terrible decisions. The last one resulted in a suspected psychotic episode. He stopped for 7 weeks but first time he went out again, loses phone, wallet, lies about where he is, chasing drugs.

So my main question for now: As parents should we say its ok to go out/drink with us as it causes no (direct)problem. Or is it better to not encourage alcohol at all? My worry is if he “craving” a drink he will just start the cycle again. We stopped drinking in house as we didnt think it fair on him if he had quit, 10th week coming up.

Opinions please?

[lindyloo]

Hi DL5,

Welcome to the forum. Everyone here has a loved one with addiction. We have all been through the emotional rollercoaster drink and drugs cause. I think it’s early days yet fir your son…nip it in the bud before it becomes a real bad problem.

My son is almost 28 and been drinking (we knew about) taking cocaine (we didn’t know about)

It came to a head just over a year ago. We suspected as much, he got into large amounts of debt from dealers, looked unkempt, flat too. Lost interest in most things, bad attitude, aggressive etc

He has an addictive personality, does everything 100%. A person like that has to abstain completely from alcohol as it triggers the need for cocaine or whatever.

He told me that himself, he reached out to us admitted he needed help.

Since then he attends aa and ca online meetings daily, works through a 12 step program and has a sponsor. Clean 5 weeks, but its really tough for him. Every day is a battle with addiction, so too for the family, sad to say.

Support him as best you can , before that evil drug gets a hold on him.

Read Share your story- Theresa thread, 6 or 7 mums all with sons with addictions.

No need to feel alone.

Always here to chat

Lx

[dl5]

Thanks for the reply.

That’s a great step forward your son, I hope it all works out.

I just wonder wether drinkung responsibly with us is counter productive as apposed to just encouraging him to stop completely then him caving in.

[lindyloo]

DL5, I understand what you mean. He’s a young man out with the lads, but he needs to know when to switch off.

As I said before, and the recovering addicts here will tell you, the alcohol is the trigger.

Since my son admitted he took cocaine and had an alcohol problem , we never ever drank in front of him.

Everyone is different , but only some will get addiction and thats a nightmare.

Read the other threads too it may help you more.

Lx

[dl5]

Thanks, willdo

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