[regdavmab]

Hi

My partner is in private rehab for alcoholism. My parents managed to scrape together the money for the care he desperately needed. He was literally at death’s door unable to even walk. He is on his 6th day and is engaging and doing well, eating, drinking, showering (moving well) and attending groups. Possible severe hepatitis/cirrhosis according to the hospital when he had an overnight stay before rehab, but only the liver scan will tell us that when he leaves and goes to the hospital for it which I can’t even comprehend right now. The thing is he went in 6 days ago just pale but with yellow eyes (needed assistance to even walk in), today I dropped off his hair clippers (positive sign!) but his skin has now turned yellow especially his face. So it’s got worse. Although he’s doing so much better physically, his outside appearance has got worse, I had to stop myself from showing shock and crying. Does jaundice get worse before it gets better? I’m praying it does because I don’t understand how he is now yellow, that 6 days on this particular ‘symptom’ has got worse not better. And when does it go? Weeks, months? I’m also worried in case rehab isn’t where he should be and he needs a hospital? Although I guess detox and stopping drinking is the first thing that needs to happen. I know this forum isn’t for medical advice but I am absolutely terrified, day in day out it consumes me. Thank you.

[bt1978]

Hey

What a situation to find yourself in, thankfully he is in a rehab which is absolutely the best place for him right now.

I’m no doctor so not sure how long it will take for the physical signs to go away – the rehab should be able to advise on that, make sure you ask them and get all the information. What I do know is that cirrhosis is very serious (without scaremongering) so thank god you managed to get him care. Even if the physical signs go away there is still the damage to the liver and that means he absolutely cannot drink again.

I hope he makes a good recovery and wish you well, please keep us updated

[regdavmab]

Thank you so much, I really appreciate the reply. After the hospital’s possible diagnosis my partner was told to go home and continue drinking but as we weren’t provided any discharge letter or information we didn’t know how serious the situation was. A week and a half later when he got even worse I begged him to go back but he refused saying they wouldn’t help him (he was obviously very disoriented too so there was no reasoning with him). So I made the decision to get him into rehab which he agreed to. It’s such a tough time, I am constantly on edge trying my hardest to refrain from googling everything which is just stupid, and I worry constantly. He comes out next Thursday as we could only afford two weeks but by then I should have appointments etc. in place. He knows he must never ever drink again. Thank you so much again.

[bt1978]

Hey

Thanks for the reply, I remember the story now (sorry there are so many posts on here)

Googling is a nightmare. I can rember doing the same thing when I was going through withdrawal and it made me ten x worse – logically people only ever really post horror stories or negative things on the Web which makes it overwhelming.

OK so looking at this logically and a day at a time. Right now he is in a safe place and getting care which is a good thing. Take it a day at a time. Can you start speaking to doctors or professionals about the jaundice to see what happens next? Better to be armed with the facts for when he comes out.

Also now may be the time to start prepping for what hapoens when he is home, would he do AA meetings?

[regdavmab]

I’ve just realised you responded to my very first post on here! Thank you, hope I didn’t confuse you by starting a new post 🙂

[regdavmab]

Hi again.

Thank you for taking time to reply, I really appreciate it.

I didn’t sleep last night with worry because of my partner’s ‘symptoms’. I am of course thinking worse case, literally the worst thing you could think of in this situation because of what’s physically happening to him. And Google is the devil. I can’t imagine how you must have been feeling. Thankfully my partner hasn’t been doing anything like that. The anxiety is crippling. I couldn’t even eat a McDonald’s last night 😉 Humour keeps me slightly more sane…

I have a feeling that although he is telling me he doesn’t want to die so therefore will never drink again, he doesn’t understand that he is seriously unwell and to get back to ‘normal’ could take a considerable amount of time. His words were ‘I just want to be the old me again right now’ (he’s 6’2 and usually fit), because after 7 laps of walking round the garden the nurse told him to take it easy. He said what if he needs to be operated on which shows me he’s scared but again doesn’t get that if it is that serious it isn’t as simple as that. I of course haven’t said that to him. It’s heartbreaking and so worrying. His skin is apparently still yellow but getting better (not sure if that’s true), his hands are shaky and cramping up, he feels (and probably looks) bloated, his toilet patterns are all messed up and he just overall feels completely weak (but is able to move every day by walking around the gardens, showering, sitting in groups etc.). He isn’t a fan of the groups but is participating (well, attending) every day at least three times. He is a typical ‘matcho’ man who thinks a lot of the therapy isn’t geared towards him and I also think he’s worried about opening up completely about his childhood as he’s already recently done that with a counsellor which was really really tough. I mean I don’t know if it would help raking all that up again as he’s already visited it and not that long ago. His reaction isn’t to cry it’s to express it through anger and frustration (tears) which I think now he won’t be drinking he will need help with maybe medically. I’m unable to talk to the doctor at the clinic but the staff there have basically said he is in the right place (as you have reassured me thank you). My worry was should he be in a hospital but obviously the detox needs to happen first and foremost. I have a call with his GP tomorrow so will mention a couple of things as you’ve suggested including the jaundice. This urgent scan he’s meant to be having we still haven’t received correspondence for and that was almost three weeks ago so I will also ask the GP to assist with chasing that. I am terrified what the results of that will be. He’s only 41 and we are meant to be starting a family. He said he had a dream about drinking last night and can’t understand why all of a sudden this has happened. His tolerance was ridiculously high until last month (functioning alcoholic) when his body just started completely shutting down. It was very strange if I’m honest, almost just so sudden. But I assume that’s what happens?? You can’t drink like that forever. I was going to book him an appointment for the day after he comes out (next Thursday) with the GP so they can have a chat, and also with the local alcohol service who have said they may be able to help with craving meds and signposting to help groups. I think he may go for the AA groups as he mentioned it before he entered rehab but I don’t know how keen he is on talking about the past. He isn’t in denial about his problem as he has said he’s an alcoholic, but what he is saying is that he started drinking because he was a party boy and the ‘work’ he chose to do when he was younger to make money wasn’t exactly ‘kosher’ to say the least (obviously that was years ago), so he was always drinking and surrounded by it. So he’s saying his drinking problem is completely different to others that he’s hearing at the moment. I mean clearly in his twenties he chose to go down that ‘career’ path because of his childhood/parents and he does know that, but he seems to think other people in the clinic who are drinkers are just absolutely completely different. Plus he says they were drinking much less. My partner was a vodka drinker and most recently it was up to a litre a day which is just sickening to write.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking but I just appreciate being able to let it all out, again thank you so so much for just listening.

[bt1978]

Ha no problem at all. He sounds like he is making good progress.

All I would say is be careful. Fear will only keep you sober so long, the meetings will really help him

[regdavmab]

Wise words thank you. I’ve just contacted AA. They said when he gets out he can call them and they can put him in touch with someone local (like a sponsor) who will also fill him in on information about meetings etc. which he is definitely willing to try so that’s a step in the right direction. Thanks again for your time 🙂

[bt1978]

Welcome and best of luck. Stick with as takes a while to find right meetings but it saves lives. God bless!

[regdavmab]

Excellent. I’ve also managed to book the liver scan for the day after he comes out as there was a cancellation. Otherwise he would be waiting a month as even urgent scans are taking weeks at the moment. Thanks so much for listening

[bunkilla]

Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life. I resisted going to an AA meeting for years due to my preconceived ideas about what it was like. When I finally hit my own rock bottom I allowed my wife to contact AA for me (I could not do it still) and a member met me and took me to my first meeting – a lovely lady. Something happened in that first meeting and I identified with everything that everybody shared. I did not take a drink again – one day at a time. For an alcoholic “one drink is too many and 100 are not enough”. I hope it works for him. For yourself maybe get in touch with Alanon – an organisation for friends and families of alcoholics. You can go to your own meetings – regardless of whether the alcoholic goes to his. “An alcoholic is like a tornado, roaring his way through other’s lives”. Good luck to you both xx

[kenneth5150]

Hello my name is Ken and I got slightly jaundiced,I stoped right away I’m feeling better eating and just wandering if I’m screwed

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