[nicola93]

I know what your going through, my mum was a heavy alcoholic and my dad had left a few years earlier, I was always ‘babysitting’ her and was ashamed to invite friends round. I was always scared of leaving her alone and when I would go out I would worry constantly. You need to find someone who you can trust in and talk to about how your feeling, it may be a close friend or someone on here! I didn’t talk to anyone but I wished the whole time I could. I am here if you want to talk x

[icarus-trust]

It sounds like you are having a really hard time dealing with the effects of your ex’s addiction. Maybe you would like to talk through the situation you are facing which can often help?
The Icarus Trust is a charity which supports people in situations like your own. We have experienced trained volunteers, called family Friends, who would understand how you are feeling, be able to talk with you and help you find help and the support that is available.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Its a free service so hopefully its worth a try.
Good luck!

[nj]

Hi kf, I know how you feel, I feel just at torn in my situation, when my husband is in recovery he is the best person I know, the problem is when he relapses it’s the most horrible and scary time of my life and it’s unbearable. I have just had my second child with him only a month ago and I’m constantly debating if I can trust him to stay clean, he has already used drugs twice since the baby has come and I just can’t bear the kids being let down by him like I am. However he is the best dad when he is ok. Can’t work out if I stay or go. He’s the love of my life, we have been together for 16 yrs but for the last 3 yrs I feel like he’s someone else because of the drug abuse. I feel like my husbands dead and has been replaced by a monster. Don’t have any fight left in me, but I can’t even find the strength to leave like you did. At least you put your kids first and took that step. I think your really brave. It’s hard to trust someone who has let you down so much. Stay strong, I hear of stories of husbands who turn there lives around when there partners leave them. I guess if they really loved us they would.

[Author]

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