[kw1]

I’m 18 and for as long as I can remember my dad has been an alcoholic. I remember when I was young, he used to just drink at the weekends then that increased to drinking everyday, morning and night. He stopped drinking for a while and recently has began drinking again. He stops now and then for a couple of days then drinks constantly for a few weeks. My dad has had problems with his stomach which I can only assume is down to the amount of alcohol he has drank throughout his life.
Just recently he fell when drunk which landed him in intensive care and he was very lucky to have survived. But still that didn’t open his eyes and make him stop drinking. Last year he lost his dad which is the only really traumatic life experience he has experienced and the drinking started long before my grandad died so I really struggle to understand why he had to drink.
He doesn’t work, any money he gets goes on alcohol. My mum struggled financially and it is starting to have an impact on her as she usually hides her emotions but recently has been showing she is stressed and worried. After losing my grandad, whom I was very close with.. I am terrified of losing my dad.
How do I get through this? I can’t sleep and find myself crying for no reason. I don’t want to go out or socialise. I’d happily sit and feel sorry for myself in my room but I know that is not the right thing to do.

[nicola93]

I know what your going through, my mum was a heavy alcoholic and my dad had left a few years earlier, I was always ‘babysitting’ her and was ashamed to invite friends round. I was always scared of leaving her alone and when I would go out I would worry constantly. You need to find someone who you can trust in and talk to about how your feeling, it may be a close friend or someone on here! I didn’t talk to anyone but I wished the whole time I could. I am here if you want to talk x

[icarus-trust]

It sounds like you are having a really hard time dealing with the effects of your ex’s addiction. Maybe you would like to talk through the situation you are facing which can often help?
The Icarus Trust is a charity which supports people in situations like your own. We have experienced trained volunteers, called family Friends, who would understand how you are feeling, be able to talk with you and help you find help and the support that is available.
You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org
Its a free service so hopefully its worth a try.
Good luck!

[nj]

Hi kf, I know how you feel, I feel just at torn in my situation, when my husband is in recovery he is the best person I know, the problem is when he relapses it’s the most horrible and scary time of my life and it’s unbearable. I have just had my second child with him only a month ago and I’m constantly debating if I can trust him to stay clean, he has already used drugs twice since the baby has come and I just can’t bear the kids being let down by him like I am. However he is the best dad when he is ok. Can’t work out if I stay or go. He’s the love of my life, we have been together for 16 yrs but for the last 3 yrs I feel like he’s someone else because of the drug abuse. I feel like my husbands dead and has been replaced by a monster. Don’t have any fight left in me, but I can’t even find the strength to leave like you did. At least you put your kids first and took that step. I think your really brave. It’s hard to trust someone who has let you down so much. Stay strong, I hear of stories of husbands who turn there lives around when there partners leave them. I guess if they really loved us they would.

[Author]

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