[missmojo]

Hi,

I posted this elsewhere, but I realised it’s probably best placed here.

We met up with my in-laws at the weekend and I came away thinking there isn’t something right with my father in law. I immediately noticed that not only has he lost a fair bit of weight(still got a big tummy though) but his skin was extremely yellow. We haven’t seen him or his wife since back end of Feb and last time I saw him he didn’t look like this. He’s only 59 and he’s always been a stocky man with broad shoulders.

When I saw him on Saturday, his face was gaunt and his shoulders looked almost bony.

But I was struck by the colour of his yellow skin. He works outside pretty much all the time and in summer he has a tan, but never yellow!

I didn’t say anything as my children were with us and I didn’t feel I could, given that it was the first time we’ve seen each other since before lockdown.

I spoke with hubby when we got home and he said he didn’t notice his dad’s skin colour but he did think his dad has lost weight.

He has always been a big drinker, got to be 40+ years, he can’t pass a pub without going in and he never has just one. And we have had issues with him drinking and telling lies, drink driving etc (that’s another story!) His first wife, hubby’s mum, left him because of his drinking. My husband lived with him from age 14 and he only remembers his dad being in the pub when he wasn’t at work. His dad even took money of him so he could go for a drink. And that’s happened right up to recently. I put a stop to it when I found out that when my husband was meeting his dad at the pub, he’d turn up and his dad was already half cut and asking him to give him money for more drink!

My husband thinks if he’s not drinking in pubs anymore, due to current situation, then he should be OK?? Surely if he’s stopped drinking so much he should look better?? I know he’s s more likely to be drinking harder stuff at home rather than pints in a pub.

I know yellow skin is connected to problems with the liver and pancreas?

I guess I’m wondering if there could be another explanation and that I’m probably imaging the worst case scenario?

But I can’t see how someone who has drank heavily for all those years could possibly be unscathed?

Should I say something to his wife? Maybe she doesn’t see how he looks as she is with him all the time? Her first husband was an alcoholic, he died from drowning after a night of drinking.

I don’t know what to do, should I say something to his wife?

My older brother’s stepson died last year age 44, he drank himself to death, didn’t want to live. I was unaware until after he died. My brother and his wife said they couldn’t help him, he was deeply unhappy. There was no intervention.

To me, my father in law does not look well. Can your skin yellow if you’ve stopped drinking? I don’t think he has stopped for one minute. My husband doesn’t seem bothered, but he’s the kind of person who doesn’t get bothered. What do I do? Anything or nothing?

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