[jen]

So my mum has been drinking at least two bottles of wine every night for as long as I can remember, we have been through a lot together and relys on me a lot I have always been there to cook her tea and clean the house whilst growing up , she met her husband five years ago and everything seemed ok I was so happy she had met someone and it took the pressure of me having him there to takeover looking after her but the drinking didn’t stop , just recently she has been saying she doesn’t want to be here anymore she doesn’t leave the house and barely eats . I phone her every day and try and visit as much as I can but I have a child of my own now and don’t want him witnessing her at moment . I feel so much pressure all the time to make sure she’s okay and don’t no what to do next she doesn’t acknowledge the fact she’s an alcoholic and believes she’s fine any advice would be appreciated

[dnanon]

Hi Jen, I think what you have done and still doing for your mum is absolutely commendable. It’s very difficult because until your mum realises that she has a problem you are going to struggle to help her. What about her husband, does he help. Are you able to work together in supporting your mum. You could get in touch with your local AA association and see if they have any suggestions. The Icarus Trust may be able to offer support to yourself too. Good luck and keep your chin up.

[jen]

Thanks for the advice will have a look at those suggestions, her husband struggles a lot with the situation and turns to me a lot of the time to vent and talk to which is hard also sometimes it would be easier if he could take the reigns but I no how hard it is to try get through to her as she can become quite nasty when’s she’s had a drink so I feel like I have to be there for both of them most of the times . I’m just hoping she will realise she can’t carry on like this and let us get her some help but she even refuses to speak to doctor, would be nice to have her there for me as a mother rather than me looking after her for once , I’ve been doing this for years but for some reason this time I’m struggling with the pressure

[hox]

Have you spoken to your mum about needing her to be there as a mother to you?

My sister has a problem with the drink and is nasty and violent. This has been happening for years. Doctors would’t help and a councillor didn’t think she had a problem with drinking eighteen cans a day. Recently her husband has said enough is enough. He has suffered through the years more than me and my other sister. She has now decided to do something about it. She doesn’t want to lose us all. She hasn’t had a drink for three weeks now. But I’m afraid it took losing us all to do something about it. Keep strong and keep yourself well.

[jen]

Thanks hox for reply I have tried telling her that I need her to be there for me but doesn’t make a difference in her eyes she is absolutely fine my mother is very self centred and always has been , I’ve tried to distance myself from her but only managed a couple of days without caving and talking to her , think not speaking to her upsets me more than her I feel like I am responsible for her in some ways!! It’s a very strange relationship I’m the youngest of four sisters but it’s always been me and her before she met her husband we’ve been through a lot together and I’m the only one that has been there through all of it . I’m always worried if I do just leave her to it she might do something stupid and I don’t think I could cope with that , I’m happy to hear your sister is doing so well without the alcohol and hope it carries on for all of your sakes .

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