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October 6, 2023 at 12:21 am #36597em1112Participant
<p style=”text-align: right;”>Hi everyone just looking for a little advice. My mum is 63 and struggling with alcohol addiction. I’m 22 and the youngest of 3 and pretty much all my life my mum has had a bad relationship with alcohol. She was always a functional alcoholic and only drank when she got in from work up until about 2 years ago. When all the lockdowns ended my mum was signed off work and has not been back since. I believe she developed an anxiety of going back outside after months in the house.This has led to her drinking at all times of the day. On top of this she doesn’t eat and smokes heavily too. It’s gotten so bad now my mum hasn’t left the house in years and cannot walk properly. She is emotionally and at times can be physically abusive, she fully neglects herself – doesn’t wash , doesn’t clothe herself , wets herself if she can’t be bothered going upstairs to the toilet. At a point it was so bad she has fallen over and given herself black eyes. She will also not eat unless someone cooks for her and even then it is a struggle (she weighs roughly 7 stone). We’ve tried several times to get her to engage with alcohol services but she refuses. We’ve arranged several GP appointments which she either cancels or attends and nothing comes of it. They have advised us as she has capacity they cannot do anything unless she wants to help herself. Her memory has now started to impair as a result of the alcohol. I can’t have a normal conversation with my own mum as she is either drunk , asleep or in a foul mood because she isn’t drunk. It’s also effecting us financially. She cannot walk anywhere so orders alcohol to the house nearly everyday when we are at work. When we take her debit cards off her she goes online and orders credit cards or orders taxis to the local shop. It’s difficult because on one hand I hate her for putting us all through this – she is manipulative , lies to our faces , abusive and refuses to acknowledge this is a problem. I want to help but I don’t know how. I’m only 22 and at university myself but I’m struggling . How can you help someone who doesn’t want help? I also worry for my dad who is at home trying to help and care for someone who gives him abuse on a daily basis.</p>
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