[travalwyn22]

 

<span style=”caret-color: #183264; color: #183264; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;”>Today I have just told my partner of 9 years to leave, he has nowhere else to go and is having to sleep in his van, have I done the right thing, I’m shaking with guilt and have to stop myself from telling him to come back, I believe I have enabled him for a long time, lying for  him and covering up his behaviour, my kids dont live at home but I’m constantly making excuses for his behaviour, am I wrong to want peace and quiet? I want to spend more time with my girls and one day grandchildren, I love him but how can I get over this guilt?</span>

[downtrodden1]

Hi, Unfortunately I don’t have much advice to give. I just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone in this.

Guilt is usually what keeps us in these relationships. His drinking is obviously impacting on your life and you just need to remind yourself of why you made the decision to no longer live that way. You haven’t put him where he is now, he did.

In my experience it won’t get better, it’s a slippery slope with what appears to have no ending.

We only have one short life, do what makes you happy and stay strong in your decisions. I wish you the very best.

[m]

I think you’ve made a very brave decision. You may also save his life by making him see enough is enough of the way he’s living.

His addiction is selfishly dragging your life down and destroying your relationship with your children.

I know there are a lot of things to worry about now such as where he will live etc but honestly please put yourself and your children first right now and spend some quality time with them that you’ve all missed out on.

good luck whatever you do xx

[Ws89021]

I’m in a similar situation, it’s so hard knowing whether leaving is the right thing to do. If you have done everything you can to help him, then there’s no more you can do then hope that this will be the point he realises he needs to get better, sometimes we don’t realise we are enabling the ones we love and think we are doing the right thing by protecting them, when we are just giving them a reason to not get better. If your support is being used as reassurance that their actions are okay, rather then using it to better themselves, I think this is when it’s time to leave, as horrible as it is. You have to look after yourself, and you don’t need to feel guilty about that, I hope everything works out for you x

[travalwyn22]

Thank you so much, getting constant messages saying he’ll do it this time, nothing  I haven’t  heard for years, sad thing is admits it makes him unhappy and he continues to get worse, looking forward to spending time with my girls this weekend,  don’t know why the outcome Will be but apart from the feelings of guilt I’m feeling good with this decision, thank you all

[eddie123]

There is an excellent charity that I know can support you – they have a remote family support group, and also provide free treatment for addicts struggling with addiction issues. To read more about them and receive the help please see link https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

you can fill in the referral form on their website.

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