[murkins]

My sister has recently admitted to being an alcoholic. She lives in France and my dad and I visited her last weekend. When she first spoke about drinking too much, in early January, she went to the doctor and was prescribed some new anti-depressants (she’s been having bouts of depression for several years), and a medication that is meant to suppress the urge to drink. She was also sent to a counsellor, who she has seen a couple of times so far. We know that her prescription for the urge suppressing medication has run out and she has yet to see the doctor again. It became obvious while we were visiting her that she is still drinking, her husband even poured her a glass of wine with a meal. I also found a bottle of spirits she had hidden. The difficulty is that her husband doesn’t speak English and my french is basic, so my sister does all the translating, meaning we couldn’t take him aside and ask anything about her drinking, why he gave her wine, whether he knows she’s hiding bottles etc. She was obviously agitated for a lot of the time, and seemed too fragile for us to confront her directly about her continued drinking. And as we don’t know much about the french healthcare system we only know what she tells us about what the doctor says. Basically we feel like we have very few ways of helping her, although I’m not sure she’s even reached the point where she is willing to fully accept help. There is an AA group nearby but she says the doctor told her to go to counselling first.

I am concerned about my sister but also about my dad, who is 76 and understandably upset and confused by the situation.

This is my first experience of using a forum, I just wanted to feel that there were other people who would understand my frustrations, not necessarily to solve any of them, just to get it all out somewhere.

[icarus-trust]

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry to hear about your worries concerning your sister’s drinking and can feel how frustrating it is for you not being able to communicate with your brother in law.

I work for The Icarus Trust, a charity that supports people who are having to deal with the addictive behaviour of a family member. We know how hard that is so you may feel it helpful to speak with one of our team of trained and experienced people. As you say it may help to ‘get it all out’ by talking with someone who understands what you are going through, and who may be able to signpost you to other help that is available.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

I hope that this is helpful. Good luck.

[Author]

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