[tishy]

I haven’t reached out to anyone yet. Now I’m at a loss of what to do next.

A few months ago my son told me he is an alcoholic. He is 24 and lives with me.

He said he wants to give up. He tries. In the past he told me he had attended meetings, spoke to sponsors, opened up to friends and I have helped and supported him as much as I can. I’ve given encouragement, reassurance, sat with him whilst he cries and he is very emotional.

It has taken a major toll on me too and I was off work for a couple of months, trying to help him and myself (mentally).

I have read a lot and understand it isn’t my fault.

He says he wants to give up, be a better person, that he doesn’t want to feel this way anymore, that he will speak to the GP and support groups and then doesn’t. He also says he cannot do it. He still drinks most days. I know he needs to also help himself.

He seems to like telling me what he knows I want to hear and then doesn’t do it.

I don’t believe what he tells me anymore.

He keeps threatening suicide and last night put a message out on Facebook that he has had enough.

I really don’t feel I can deal with this anymore.

Any support will be much appreciated.

[lindyloo]

Hi Tishy, welcome to the forum I just needed you to know that you don’t have to feel alone.

This forum has lots of people who are concerned about their loved ones addictions. There are also people in recovery offering support and advice too.

Read the other threads, click onto ‘share your story ‘ read the Theresa thread, there are several of us mums all with sons with addictions.

My son is 29, alcohol and cocaine addictions, when he has alcohol it triggers the need for cocaine.

Such an evil drug, changes them completely, divides families. Addiction affects everyone.

My son has had addictions for several years but only admitted it, and reached out for help just over a year ago. He’s had a few relapses, this is normal, but with help and support from the AA fellowship and his sponsor, he is currently 90+ days clean.

I wanted you to know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. But he needs to realise he has a problem and seek support. It has to be his decision. For the moment, just let him know, that you still love him and care about him. The Icarus trust posts here too, they have councillors who have experience, especially if he has mental health issues. Also, look after yourself , don’t worry, and don’t feel alone.

Stay strong

Keep in touch here.

Lx

[tishy]

Lindyloo,

Thank you so much for your reply.

I have taken a look at the Theresa thread. There is so much to read but from what I have seen I can totally relate.

I’m pleased to hear how your son is in recovery. Must be slightly relieving for you.

My son is very angry. He lets any little thing take over his mind and will not let it go.

He has already had a strong cider today and has told me he wants to just continue drinking today. He said he wants to sleep but cannot without alcohol (this is how he first became to be in this situation).

I’m at my wits end. I know I can’t physically stop him drinking i just feel like letting him get on with it. He says he wants to stop but is sitting on the fence at the moment.

His room is an absolute tip and he is living in squalor.

Is this all usual?

I actually don’t want to face him and want to hide in my bedroom.

Hope today is a good day for you.

Tishy x

[lindyloo]

I can relate to the bedroom like a tip. When my son lived with us , his room was awful, he looked awful, fortunately he still worked.

When he moved out..he inherited enough to get deposit on a flat.

The same day, we threw everything out his room.

I had another elderly relative who used alcohol to help her sleep initially, but she got addicted to it.

Doc said it lures you into a false sense of sleep, when it became a real problem, she had to get detox.

It must be very frustrating for you, especially living under your roof.

Please don’t let it affect your health too. I know lockdown is compounding matters, but try to get out for a walk, clear your head.

Is there someone you can confide in? If not, try Icarus trust for advice. Stay strong.

Always here to chat

Lx

[tishy]

Thank you

[Author]

Posts