[bookworm]

Hi everyone. I guess ill get right into it. My dad is an alcoholic and has been one for around 9 years and is functioning (kind of). He owns a hotel which means alcohol is extremely accessible and there isn’t anything I can really do. He does have his moments of being very drunk, I don’t even think he knows when he goes too far with it. I’m not sure how to help him any more. I’m also not sure my approach is the correct one so was looking for other people’s opinions?

Im very laid back with him, as I don’t want to start having him hide alcohol from me and I don’t want him to feel too bad about himself when doing it as I’m aware it is now an illness. However, he does come to me and say he knows he has a problem and is always saying he’s ‘cutting back’. But this tends to fall through which is going to happen with him having the hotel I guess. His girlfriend takes a very different approach and gives him a real hard time over it and get very embarrassed when he’s seen as drunk which seems to have a different effect and makes him feel really bad about himself and he hides the drink from her. They don’t sell the hotel and get him help which I don’t understand. She thinks that I encourage my dad to drink and has said this before which I don’t believe because of my approach. I don’t think I do. I find that my dad comes to me and confides in me how he’s feeling but it leaves me unable to do a lot for him with it being so accessible and then I advise him on what I think and tell him he needs to do it for him. I don’t know which approach is better. I am in my early 20’s and have only seen non functioning alcoholics so far in my life but this is somewhat inbeteeen but is a problem. Is the laid back approach next to useless (or encoraging)? or do be a bit harsher maybe? Just feeling a bit useless at the moment. And what do I advise him when he opens up to me?

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