[hox]

You are not over reacting as it is now becoming more than recreational use for him. This is our worst issue and is as important as everyone else’s.

Do you think that coke is the root of the problem because it is for me.

My husband is the same. We have never held each other to times but when he says he’s going out for a couple of hours I expect him to be later, but not ten to fifteen hours later. He used to be back at at a sensible time when he was his normal self.

Twelve months ago he told me he was going to start staying in as he was wasting his weekends being hungover and not enjoying time with me. Which he was regretting. This was when he was on the one or two lines a year. He tried for a couple of months then started going out three times a week and not coming home. Six months later he had his personality change. He’s still on the three night week, how many lines of coke I don’t know. He has also driven home under the influence. Sleeps for a few hours when he returns and is then violently sick for the rest of the day. He also zones out watching the tv. Nothing is of interest he won’t even look after his dogs. That’s how bad he is. He doesn’t care one bit about anything other than ‘popping out’ to see his like minded friends and family, leaving me feeling like what the hell has happened to our wonderful, happy life.

I’m feeling low too, I understand far too well.

I feel like I need to try snorting a line so that I can forget my life and responsibilities and not give a hoot about anything and anyone. At least I’d be off my head and out of this misery.

[reb]

Im so sorry you have got to feeling like this. Its the lack of responsibility which angers me the most n Im determind not to take too much on on his behalf. Im lucky I guess as we dont have children together. My sons older n left home n my partners children live in another city so are reasonablity protected. I guess im coping by trying to do other things with friends, getting on with work n not depending on him to make me happy all the time but its easier said than done. Ironically I used to support family members of people with drug issues but its much easier giving out advice to others than acting on it yourself. X

[hox]

I get angry too. No children are involved, we wanted them but its too late now. I try not to take on too much of his responsibilities but some things he refuses to do. I call a friend nearly every night and she really helps me to cope. Because of the anxiety I can only go to work, my mums and the local shop. I keep away from people as I don’t want to keep making excuses as to why he’s not about, I tell them he’s busy at work.

I suppose we really don’t know the implications until we are faced with it ourselves. It is so sad for all involved.

[reb]

Year. Feels like recreational use gets out of control in the end for many people. Im trying to be understanding and supportive of his underlying issues but it might come down to us wanting different lifestyles in the end. It is sad I guess. I feel philosophical today cos Im out of the house doin other things but I know I will get home later n he probably wont be in n the cycle of feeling anxiety, anger and sadness will kick in as Im wondering if he will come home on time later. I think Im going to sit down when I feel calmer and ask him to get help or to go stay elsewhere so I can get a break from worrying about where he is. Thanks for sharing how you feel with me and I hope you find a way through it x

[danman83]

Tell him pub once a month and thats it. Hes making your life hell. Or you will leave.

[aallan]

Ask yourself is this the best you deserve? Then decide…..good luck

[georgia26]

recreational use is not worth the risk – it could turn into an addiction, recreational use is always how it starts and then it spirals out of control.

I would give him an ultimatum NOW before it gets to that point.

My husband is beyond this point, it started recreational and now there is no control, that stuff ruins lives, relationships, jobs – everything.

An addict cannot use recreationally..

I wish you all the best. x

[Author]

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