[amicrazy]

I’ve known my boyfriend for over two years. He is an alcoholic this I know and I know over the past year he has been cycling like a roller coaster doing different drugs, disappearing for days and returning with no remorse or guilt. But recently he admitted needing help only for alcohol and refuses to admit that he has issues with any other substance.

I have been noticing more random behavior than I used to.

I can’t figure out what drug he’s using or what to even look for. Other than google I am completely naive to anything further than marijuana and alcohol. I feel like I’m being used as a rehab when it’s convenient and left with no explanation for days when he uses again.

I never thought he would do heroin but for some reason I have a sick gut feeling that’s what it is.

I am also realizing that I don’t really know him. That he has probably been using since I met him so it’s difficult to decipher whether he’s withdrawing or permanently effected by his past using or if he’s drugged up or sober. It’s heartbreaking and keeps me a nervous wreck always wondering when his next aggressive spout will be or what he will use as his next excuse to leave me for drugs again.

And what if he really is reaching for help and I am accusing him of things he isn’t doing? Please help.

[guardians]

Contact FamAnon for support. Very helpful.

[Author]

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