[sweetpotato]

I’m new here and very hesitant to share my story. I have a loving husband of 18 years but of late I have been feeling really frustrated and helpless at my situation. My husband has tendencies to heavy drinking since some years now. I have recently discovered that he drinks in secret too. He comes from a family where enjoying social or daily drinks always became a problem. And because of this, over the years, I have tried to steer clear of engaging in confrontations with my husband unless it became too much. I used to raise my concern with him before but his reasoning was always that he doesn’t start drinking first thing in the morning that he doesn’t become violent or blacks out there fore it means he isn’t over doing it. I also found a bottles hidden or tucked away couple of times in his car or at the back of a wardrobe. He also claims he’s never driven while under the influence (although I’m not sure if that’s entirely true). Historically, he always stays up late to watch tv and drinks and then eats again. I married a slim and muscular man but within two years of our marriage he put on 30 kilos. And over the last year he has put on 10 more kilos. He severely overweight and now his own body can’t carry his wait. I cook healthily 95% of the time, have paid a fortune in diets for him over the years. But he still can’t give up his drinks. And now it’s become secret drinking. When I confront him about it, he shrugs it off as it’s nothing and tells me that I’m making it an issue.

Thing is, I don’t know what to make of it. Am I over reacting or over controlling? Just don’t know, I feel so depressed all the time. I don’t want to stay at home with him, don’t want to go on social events with him. I don’t want to speak to family or friends as I don’t want them to lose their respect for him. Nether do I want to make it an issue in front of my kids as I don’t want them to think bad of their dad. But despite that, my teenage son has now started picking up on it though.

Just don’t know- am I the one with the problem or am I being overly concerned..?

[candi36]

I’m new here too so not able to give advice but I just wanted to say that I understand. My OH tells me I’m being too controlling, but I know that anyone else would not put up with this. Hope things improve for you.

[Author]

Posts