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I have posted on here a few times, having married my Husband 3 years ago and living with the Chaos of his addiction for near enough 10 years. A few months back something snapped in me, my tolerance just went and I walked out, I have suggest to him that I need space and I am currently going to counselling to try to understand how I am feeling better and I guess validate how I feel. But I haven’t stayed at home with him for months. My husband keeps telling me I am not doing enough to save the marriage and I should let him show me he has changed, and I am letting our family down by not trying, but i’m so frightened to go back into the chaos, but I feel I should be trying harder to make our marriage work and to support him. Since I have left I haven’t seen any real change in his behavior, he says the right things but I don’t feel his actions mirror what he says. I am devastated, I feel like I have let him down yet I just have no feeling anymore, I don’t cry anymore, I just feel empty.
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Many on here are supporting children going through addiction and will understand what you’ve said about feeling empty and not being able to cry anymore. If my son had a partner I wouldn’t blame them at all for walking away and making the decision the they don’t want that chaos in their life.
I think words are easy, addicts are full of promises that they probably hope to honour but when it comes to it, have no power to follow through with. If you can’t see real change and don’t want this life you should go. If I had a daughter living with an addict I’d be begging her to get out. It will hurt your husband but you didn’t cause this and you can’t solve it.
Ten years is a long time.
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