[thelostone]

I just wanted to give people an insight into the nature of addiction. To abbreviate my story VERY quickly, been with partner 2 years, he is addicted to crack (at one time also on heroin).Finished with him and cut him off too many times to count. He was offered a rehab place – been clean 4 weeks. He is literally waiting on the call to say he is off to the residence.

We were going to spend the night together last night – for the first time in about 6 months). He was with his sister til 5.30pm approx. I was due to meet him at 7pm. He had about 1.5 hours to wait for me to come home. What did he do? He went to smoked crack cocaine. He texted me saying he was with his friend and would meet at 7pm as agreed. When I suspected all was not right, he did the favourite addict thing.. and switched his phone off. 45 minutes later he switched it on and called me, crying and apologising. He came back to his flat and was just the most pathetic, wretched figure. I went home, alone.

Not sure how he felt he could meet me and hide what he’d done. Not sure why he couldn’t wait 90 minutes for me to arrive. Not sure why he’s thrown away 4 weeks of being clean, going gym, healthy eating and rebuilding our relationship, rebuilding and my trust.

I am not sure of anything anymore, only that this is the nature of addiction.

[Author]

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