[2468anyadvice]

Hello,

I’m not sure if anyone has a better understanding on this topic.

I would appreciate any feedback.

My partner has been injecting Cocain.

He was a bad substance user about 6 years ago but stop taking any drugs for the last 3 years.. I’m not sure why but he is back to using and injecting.

Why do they inject ? I find this so disgusting. I can’t even go for blood test it’s not enjoyable at all.. so what is this injecting really all about ??? Is this a low point that people mention? is it harder to give up doing it this way? Sorry if the question seem odd. I just can’t seem to get my head around why he would do this.

[drained-and-tired]

Hiya, hope your ok?

My partner of 8 years was a heavy cocaine user for years, only sniffing. Then I started to find needles about 4 months ago. I confronted him about this as I was really upset. He admitted but wasn’t really bothered because 9 times out of 10 he was high and doing whatever he liked.

I did ask him once and have also researched and supposedly its a better “high” if injected, but also far more dangerous of overdose.

I have seen my partner inject many of times and it’s not nice to see, the marks and bruises all over him.

You just got to hope it’s not herion, as he will never come off of that.

I eventually kicked my partner out of my home as I wasnt prepared to tolerate this disgusting behaviour anymore.

Xx

[2468anyadvice]

Thank you (drained and tired)

Congratulations to you for taking a stand and mostly taking care of your needs what they do is disgusting and no one should have to tolerate it at all… do you mind if I ask what the behaviour is of herion? Is it different to cocaine? I ask because my partner choice of drug before getting clean was cocaine but to be honest since the relapse it could be anything now. He has never done any substance around me or even tried to offer it too me. He would rather leave for the day and come back high. When I would ask if he is high I would just get story after story with a bunch of lies. So I’m curious to know the difference in behaviours.

[drained-and-tired]

My life was just becoming so unhappy, always on eggshells, coming home and my house was a complete mess and me having to tidy it when I had just finished a shift at work plus cook dinner.

The drug not only takes over there life but everyone around them too.

With herion as far as I’m aware it destroys worse than cocaine and people that take it once can’t come off it because it is so bad. Just having to take it daily,hourly just to function.

How long has your partner been injecting cocaine? What’s he like at home or does he dissapear at all? Xx

[2468anyadvice]

Hello ( drained and tired )

Thanks for you response… so I don’t think it is herion then.

Guess these days you just never know. So my partner had a really bad addiction to cocaine in 2013 I think he started off smoking it and by 2016 he was definitely injecting. I kicked him out as he would disappear for days. Leaving me to raise our first child who was only 6 months old.

I ended up leaving him because he was so toxic and was destroying everything I enjoyed in life. He was basically living on the streets and had nothing. He found me one day and was so violent that he served 2 years in prison. I basically cut all contact at that point. Once he was released he was clear minded and was sorry for everything this really was a big change he put alot of effort in to prove he had changed. 3 years on he hadn’t touched anything our relationship couldn’t of been any better. We actually saved money and braught a new car and boat and were saving for a house BUT…Unfortunately last year he was diagnosed with fibromyalgia its like a nerve problem in the brain that gives you constant pain. Due to being on daily medication to cope he could no longer work as a qualified mechanic on this medication. I think this brought on a form of depression and maybe this is why he relapsed… I think this time he has only been using off and on for 3 to 4 months. He has never left home for the night but I’m sure his dealer is only in the next street from us.. I’m really at a loss.

I feel I have waisted alot of my time and effort that I can’t do this again.

I wish I could be there to help but I also think it’s time to walk away. I can’t imagine going down this road all over again to think about it honestly makes me want to skip the country and never return. Sorry to just go on and on … I’m sure your own issue are draining enough to take in… I just get the urge to write it down. It almost gives my brain the break to stop thinking about it. I haven’t spoken to any family this time around I can’t handle the judgement right now.

I admire how brave you have been and I’m sure this change in the long run will bring you lots of happiness x

[drained-and-tired]

Your fine and you can say and rant on as much as you like, I’m happy to listen, I have been there many times.

The life is very tiring, you feel constantly on edge because even if they have supposedly kicked the addiction and are getting help the fear never dissapears.

I never told anyone in my family for years, and it was eating me up daily,.lying for him, making excuses for hes behaviour. Eventually I told family 2 years ago and I ended it with my partner, he moved out for 6 months got some help and people believed he was actually going to change.

Things where great for a short period, then slowly he started to mix with wrong people and the whole lot started again, this time worse than ever.

It became a daily thing with him, and the whole not coming home, I would be cooking meals and throwing them away, all whilst looking after our son.

And then when he went missing for over a week I thought he must be dead. How wrong I was, he was choosing to mix with homeless addicts, and they was using him to run there drugs and god knows what else about.

I had never felt so worried sick to my stomach when he never came home, I didn’t eat I didn’t sleep through worry. I decided I had to have the locks changed and move hes stuff to hes mums.

He then came back and looked an absolute mess and honestly thought I was going to allow him in my house, when he had been mixing with God knows what.

He knows now that if he wants any part in my sons life then he has to sort hes life out. He has had more than enough chances and the ice is so thin with him now he Doesn’t dare mess up.

I think with addicts you have to make a stand and make your point 100 percent clear to them.

At the end of the day they are choosing that life, they may have an addiction but there is help out there and if they choose not to accept the help then they are choosing drugs over there family.

How’s things at the moment? Xx

[2468anyadvice]

You are so right … they did choose this life style and I believe if you get the urge to relapse again your basically walking through a door with your eyes wide open…

My daughter is now older too and at some point I’m responsible for what happens in her life. I can’t have these random people around they are yuck and unfortunately her father is no better to be choosing those as friends. I think this time regardless what happens I need to make my point very clear to him. At the end of the day my children need direction and structure and I can’t give them my full attention if I’m basically trying to keep a 35 year old on track… far out they should be so ashamed.

Well the last time I saw him was last week wensday when I threw my bank statement at him asking why are you buy fit packs from a chemist if your not using drugs ??? He didn’t know what to say. Long story short after me yelling at him the police were called. They asked him to move on and he escalated into something so big he was arrested.

He has been back in jail since.

I’m now wondering if I should break the news to him while he is in there that I’m so done with all this sh*t.

Hopefully he can somehow process that in jail and not come after me again like last time. X

I was laying in my bed the other night and I actually felt a sign of peace I didn’t need to ask 100 questions I didn’t need to see if he ate dinner I didn’t have to walk on egg shells or cringe at the fact his coming to bed… to know your partner is in jail and too feel so much peace with it. What a sad life they choose to live.

[drained-and-tired]

Exactly children need that structure and stability, not some idiot that only thinks of himself.

I did have a little laugh when reading what you said about its so nice to feel relaxed and not have any worries when laying in bed, you can actually sleep, watch TV, eat all without worrying if they are going to cause an argument, or wether they will stroll in at 2am or wether they are dead.

It’s nice to come home and your house is the exact same as you left it, no piles of washing up, no dirty clothes, curtains open, beds made lol.

It’s funny how there drug addiction can turn you in to somebody you don’t even know, and even your own self starts to lie. It’s madness.

It’s nice not to have to cook dinner and it get thrown away to! Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind with addicts, as much as you want to help them, it always gets ignored untill you put your foot down and tell them you are not prepared to put up with it anymore.

Because like we have said they choose to go down that path, no one is forcing them to take it or inject it.i understand addiction but when people refuse help then in my eyes they clearly want that life!

Xx

[danman83]

Are u even sure he even stopped taking? Its strange how he can start up again then start injecting.

Injecting is because they want a better and quicker high. Normally I guess he is hanging with someone who is injecting and that’s why he’s got on it. I’m 11 week clean from coke now. I’ve never injected. Does he want to stop?

[2468anyadvice]

Hello Danman.

Thanks for your reply and congratulations on your success so far. That is so amazing I bet you are feeling so much better I wish you all the best.

I do honestly believe he had stop for around 2 years. As he was doing drug testing for work and his whole thinking and behaviour was so much different to the person on substance. Also instead of selling every he had we were build a life.. I do believe he had a weak moment and was hanging around some bad company the last few weeks also these people inject aswell… not though any of that should be an excuse. I feel so sad and disappointed has gone down this road and I’m not willing to be mad into a fool… how many chances do you honestly give someone. Even if he decides to let up with these people and that kind of company I’m sure there will always be another person.

[danman83]

Thanks for that.

Yes I feel so much happier and no negative thinking. But it’s still early days.

It’s true what they say.. 1 bad apple spreads. My teacher use say it at school lol and he’s right. If he has seen other mates doing it, and peer pressure. He’s going to do the same. Best thing to do is cut them off straight away.

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