[danman83]

I have just bought a book called .. i want to change my life, how to beat anxiety , depression and addiction.. this is all what im going through. I just got it today. And its had great reviews.. it has 1 month addiction plan.. prevention plan.. and helps a great deal with addiction. I recommend it.

[icarus-trust]

Good luck with it Danman. I hope the book helps.

[georgia26]

I really wish you all the best, its clear how much you want this.. praying for you mate

[danman83]

Thanks very much.. j just had my mum on the phone upset about it all. Its not good at all what it does for your family

[danman83]

Anyway georgia whats your story lol

[hannahhammonda]

I need to talk to someone about my cocaine use

[georgia26]

Hi Hannah/Dan,

My husband is the person doing cocaine and drinking, it started with just the drink, he had a bad divorce and was lonely so started drinking socially.

I met him and noticed the drinking, but I was naive and never actually thought it was a problem I just thought he was being selfish. I soon learnt there was an issue there.

He went to the doctors and admitted there was an issue, the drinking stopped and he was doing it every other week but would binge so much and couldnt stop, no matter what I said, the drink causes him such bad mental health issues the next day its sooo bad.

Lately, he does cocaine with the drink, its like hes got a stimulant addiction.

he is going to support groups, but he still relapses every 3 ish week and its been cocaine not alcohol which really worries me.

He only has a problem when it suits him, if i mention addiction/alcoholic he get so annoyed at me, but I think it is an addiction, even if its once a month. If you cant say no to something, its an addiction, right?

I spend so much time googling, trying to understand if he has a real problem or not, I am worried as i am still young and want to settle down but this is a huge risk, reading some of these stories terrifies me.

what are your stories? this is causing me such bad anxiety, we were perfect… drugs/alcohol is coming between us and i dont think he realises the severity of the situation.

[adamuk]

He is not addicted so stop it! I’m on it every day nearly that’s addiction.

[georgia26]

You are wrong, speak to any addiction counsellor/professional – if the use continues EVEN if its monthly, weekly or whatever, despite knowing it is causing or exacerbating physical or psychological problems it is an ADDICTION as you cant not do it, even if its ruining your life. You dont have to be doing it daily to be classed as an addict, there are all different types.

[danman83]

Are you ok? Do you want to talk?

[danman83]

Hannah am going through cocaine use. Not had it for 14 days. Ask me anything or talk about anything u want.

[danman83]

Hi hannah, well my story is a bit simular.. 10 years ago.. i use go out and i started having coke even tho i never said i would. Then i stopped going out and the habbit or addiction stayed with me.and im ashamed to say i was doing it on my own in the once.. it wasnt every day or every weekend. Once a month. May be once every 2 or 3 week. But this new year was the last straw for my gf. I will lose her and my kids

So ive not had out since. And im doing everything possible to stop. Even if you do it once a month it is an addiction! From what i have learned.. you need to you tube louise clarke crack/cocaine.. shes an expert in it all and you will learn a lot from her and how to stop.. there is part 1 2 and 3 videos on it. I tend to relapse on 3rd and 4th week. So u and him need to be prepared and try and stop it before. Its called emotion relapse.. he could cause an argument out of thin air not knowing it, but its his brain wanting it, and then thinks fuk it, am going getting smashed. Its like a battle in your head , a little devil and a angel. Saying get it! Dont get it! I hate the stuff and when its wearing off i feel suicidal, sometimes i cry as well on my own. Quite sad really and ive got everything i want. Good job. House. Partner. Kids. So i more determined to quit now. Ive learned a lot of things how to. And ive bought 4 books this week lol to keep me busy. Ive never read books ever! And ive bought chinese herbs for the cravings

[georgia26]

You can hear how much you want this, I find it hard to understand myself as I havent ever been addicted to it.

He quit drinking as it led to doing cocaine, but he also relapses every 3/4 weeks, his support group says its an anxiety build up, today is the 3rd week since he last did it and I am so anxious about it all, I have told him this and he tells me not to worry, but I cant help it.

Its not even an argument with him, he will say he is popping out and then I will get a phone call saying ” I am at so and sos and I need to make a confession” he does tell me right away but when i shout and stuff it makes him worse and he self destructs.

You need a good counsellor, I know it costs.. google Bradley Ridell. Apparently hes amazing.

I feel like I cant live with the anxiety, its heartbreaking.. even reading your messages makes me teary as deep down I know this is probably what he feels like, but he wont admit it to me.

[danman83]

Soryy not hanna .. hi georgia.. thats for georgia that message

[danman83]

Ill defo have a look at him..thanks.. and thats exactly what i do.. i go bed and tell her am sorry ive done that again.. then im in bed trying to sleep, when i no i cant! And my head has a million thoughts going through it.. nothing positive all negative.. then i feel like crying.. and its that again…why have i had it again?? Ive accepted its an addiction now. Them 12 step groups are suppose to be good.. but my opinion i dont think you just need a councillor. I had 1 when i went to get help.. 8 sessions i had it was ok. I stopped for 3 month.. then i thought i was ok and bam.. got 1 watching boxing on a night out … i hate to admit it, but now no matter how long its been. I cant drink again really. As i will get that. Ive just bought russell brands book on addiction and he has some good videos on you tube.

Tell him on the 3rd week or 4th.. hes not going out and you want spend time with him. To take his mind of it. So does he have it with out having alcohol then??

[georgia26]

hes gone from drinking only, to cocaine only – its like a stimulant addiction. He cant not go without it. Hes definitely a bit in-denial, we are week 3 in and my anxiety is awful, he does stay in and dont actually go out out anymore but he pops out and he will bump into someone who will offer it to him and thats it, he cant say no.

Last time, he sniffed a couple of lines while I was at work someone offered it to him, and he came home and had an awful comedown and blamed me for making him feel worse for shouting at him, then his mental health is fucked, he cries etc and i am expected to cuddle him when I need supporting!

I am still young, starting my adult life.. do i really want this, thats the thing. I cant see no end!

[danman83]

I dont know many people that just do cocaine only, unless they sell it. Not saying he does thats just people i know.

Wheres he going tho to people offer it to him? Thats what thing you cant do go places were it is or you have picked up from, like car park on asda.. they are called trigger points.. so you avoid certain places so you dont remember picking up and then you want some.

I take it your only 26? Have you any kids? Or own own a house together?

Them come downs are the worse thing ever. And its only our fault no one elses. My mums on edge now after i asked her for help. And shes texing me all the time which is great. My gf says just stop dan its not hard. Sometimes i think she wants me to fuk up. But im doing this for me and no one else. I think personnally you need to give him an ultimatum , you get help.. you dont go out of the house to were u bump in to people, u delete every dick out of your phone associated with coke. And you change your life and routine. In the long run he will feel great. But u have take each day as it comes. Were abouts are you from?

[georgia26]

Yeah he used to do that, so was surrounded all the time. He is surrounded by absolute idiots, it seems to be when his anxiety spikes he looks for a release.

He relapsed last night, its so odd my gut was telling me all day yesterday, hence me writing on here. He took himself to the pub and drank, then called me to admit it, then his friend come to ours to ‘get a tool’ and he went out come back and i KNEW he had sniffed cocaine. Why did he do that? after being so sorry about drinking again? he then went outside and sniffed cocaine?

Were from the South, near Kent.

Yes 26, no no kids, but live together.. I wanted to settle down now and how can i possibly? he said he wants to start a family to give him purpose again – he has 2 kids he doesnt get to see, its sad really.

He is seeing a therapist tonight, he does want this so much but it keeps getting him. Do you have anxiety? He does need to delete every twat out of his phone youre right.

[danman83]

Sorry about my typing im from bolton and type how we speak and miss out certain words lol

[danman83]

He does need delete them.. and just spend time with you for 3 month just to get his head straight..are you paying for the therapist? And bollox his friend was getting a tool lol he prob was coming down and wanted another key or line.

And yes i have anxiety.. sometime i stutter, and find it hard get my words out to certain people. I hate speaking on the phone and going certain places. And it makes me worse now when on coke. And i aint no scroat or out i work for the bank. It knocks your confidence. And can take 3 -5 days before you feel ok from the coke at the weekend. Then your having again at the weekend. And its one big vicious circle. Ive oredered about 5 books this week to change my life a round. And try something different. Im going to reward my self each month for not having it. This month is a meal with my gf and kids.

tell him the money he puts up his nose give it u to save up.. and go new york or summat.. something to focus on. Now hes realised. He should be doing everything poss to stop.. like im doing. He needs to do it for himself.. then the rest will fall into place. Sorry for going on lol

[georgia26]

ha the way you speak half made me smile today, thank you for all your advice, i really wish you the best… he is paying, he wants to pay, he cried he wants help. Its such a terrible thing addiction. Going to make him download that app you said about. its all about removing himself from those type of environments I guess and get the therapy for his anxiety

[danman83]

Sure is.. ive done a shit load of daft things and wish i could go back and change it. Tell him get his ass in gear and take you on a shopping spree and a nice hol after all the shit he has put you through. If u ever need any help or out just ask. Can give u my email or summat. Have a good weekend mate

[danman83]

Listen mate. Watch louise clarke on crack cocaine on you tube. Shes an expert and helps people with addictions. U can have coke once a month and be an addict. You are an addict if u do. Just coz u have it everyday dnt mean some 1 who had it once every 2 week aint. I have it once a week sometimes once a month for 8 year. If that aint an addict what is. Ive finally admitted i am.and getting help

[notmyrealname]

Hi danman, your advice on another post was really helpful in discussing all this with my husband who has the problem with cocaine. He has been having some really good days and I have believed that he wants to do well but he will not let go of the friends. He has distanced himself from his friends that do this every time they are together. I am stuck in an awkward place where I look like I’m harassing him to have no friends but ALL of his friends also take Coke. He has some friends who can take it or leave it so he thinks if he hangs out with those friends he will be fine but after the things you have said I do believe these friends are a trigger. Just because they don’t take it with him it seems that spending time with them is a trigger and he ends up doing it. Do you think I am being a nag to acknowledge this issue or am I right in thinking he’s trying to make me feel like a nag in order or try and get away with this.bearing in mind he’s only been managing 4/5 days clean at a time so it’s hardly like he’s really had chance to experience being clean enough yet, am I right do you think? I think I already know the answer but what I’m worried that if I keep having to tell him what to do and feeling like I’m nagging it’s sort of killing the relationship turning me more into a mother than a wife? Have your and your partner been experiencing this? Do you have any tips? He has seemed grateful at points that I have got involved as he started to see how much better things could be when he’s not taking coke, and he has also started to notice the problems Coke has caused for some of his friends which he’s usually oblivious to when he’s been doing it all the time himself.I worry that he’s at the stage where he thinks he’s passed it now and he can pick it up and drop it and that’s the cycle all over again.

[b8988]

Think there are a tick box of so many questions.

Have you told yourself you will stop but won’t?

Is it causing problems in your relationship or at work?

Do you use more than you did when you started?

Do you use alone?

Do you have to use all that you buy? You can’t keep any leftover.

Have you been in trouble with the police through your usage?

Are you experiencing financial trouble?

etc etc, my husband started off only having a few but nearly all of the questions he can tick now. That’s why he had trouble accepting he was an addict, he thought an addict used everyday or used more like heroin or crack!

My husband only tried it once at a football match in his 30’s he was practically teetotal before that. He only used to use alone when we were in bed as he wasn’t a drinker.

My husband uses coke without alcohol, but then has to have alcohol to stop the anxiety caused from sniffing too much, otherwise he will be up all night. My husband uses day and night sometimes when he uses, not every day, at his worse it was 4 times a week and then his personality was awful!

[notmyrealname]

Sorry for the essay lol, but some of your previous advice has really helped us.

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