[cupcakes]

Hi, I’m new to this and maybe just needed a place to vent, but I’m realizing this is beyond venting and an actual problem outside my control. I’ve been married to an addict for 10 years now and I’m really at a loss. I let a lot go in order not to rock the boat. Problem is, boat is rocking and about to capsize. I really am lost, I’m always the bad guy and always tip toeing. I love my husband but I’m also just fed up. There is never a sober moment so I can never talk to him. I cry every night and I just don’t know what to do. I have a lot of resentment as I have been the only one working for the past 3 years and it is a high stress job and every day I come to either someone drunk, passed out or in a panic attack because of bad decisions from the night before. I have really tried to be understanding and help. But maybe I’m the reason or a nag but this is beyond my control and I really don’t know what to do. I can’t tell friends or family because that will not help the situation. If I ask him to look for a job, in the most supportive way, I’m the asshole that is pressuring him. Meanwhile I’m working my ass to the bone and under all the stress and I’m starting to crack. I’m breaking apart trying to hold this all together and keep it to myself. I can’t handle this much longer and don’t know what to do.

[cupcakes]

I hate to do this, however, I have been reading on alanon and other sites and it really upsets me that everything is always a walk around for an alcoholic and their abusive ways. I am already terrified and embarrassed enough to even discuss with strangers and looking at these sites where the addict is excused away just gets me. I guess I’ll just always have to clean up the mess and cover up because this is the role we are given. I will lie and cover up everything and let the abuse continue.

[lovemybabies123]

It’s not your fault cupcake. You don’t have to put up with it. I you gain the strength to leave one day xxx

[vics82]

Hi, I can totally relate to this used to live like this myself , my partner had to get his own place in the end which improved everything apart from his drinking ( which he’s now getting help for) we’re still a couple but it improved my mental state because I wasn’t waiting round for him to change as much and for him think the fact he was losing everything maybe scared him to getting the help he needed but I know that no one can change their mindset till their ready but you’ve also got to to take care of yourself and your well being xxx

[cupcakes]

I truly and really appreciate everything you say. It really means a lot to know I’m not alone. It is a daily struggle, there are days that I see the person I love but then I also find bottles hidden under the bed. It gets old explaining it and I honestly haven’t said anything to anyone for years now because it’s on their nerves too. But I am trying and doing stronger one day at a time

[icarus-trust]

Hi Cupcakes,

Thanks for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you can’t talk to your friends and family about your husband’s alcohol problem. I’m glad that you are getting support on this forum but if you would like more help please contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that offers help to people like yourself, going through a tough time due to addiction in the family. If you get in touch, one of our Family Friends would contact you. These are our experienced trained people who are good listeners and would understand what you are going through. Maybe that would help to make you feel less alone.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrst.org

All the best.

[Author]

Posts