[azura]

I’ve been married for 31 years to a lovely man, 8 years ago I found out he was an alcoholic after I insisted on accompanying him to a hospital appointment.

Since then he has survived cancer 3 times – the last one at Christmas last year in his liver for the 2nd time. He assured me he had finally gone dry but lately I have been smelling booze on him and despite slurring his words and stumbling when walking he denies drinking again.

Out adult daughter still lives with us and has the same suspicions. Last night she heard her dad go out to the recycle bin at midnight – we have just checked the bin and found two litre bacardi bottles hidden beneath other rubbish – I have removed them to confront him later.

What I can’t work out is where he is hiding them – we have searched the house.

What upsets me most is his oncologist told him back in January that if he didn’t stop drinking his liver cancer would return in two years – cannot believe he is happy to put our family through this again ????

Any advice on what I can do to encourage him to give up completely would be most welcome but just being able to get my thoughts out there is helping greatly as I can’t admit this to friends or family he would never forgive me.

[bt1978]

Hey Azura.

Thanks for posting.

OK so it’s safe to say your fella is likely a real alcoholic. What you described its typical behaviour that comes with that.

Alcoholics and addicts are resourceful when it comes to concealing what they are up to. You could shake the place down looking for it, but the sad truth is that he will just get more.

As you have already found out, very little will stop someone using or drinking – I mean if cancer doesn’t, then I’m not sure what will. I have met a lot of alcoholics over the years (I’m 12 years sober this year) and usually a rock bottom triggers the desire to stop.

The thing is, and it’s hard saying this, unless it comes from him. There isn’t a great deal you can do.

Do you think he will be receptive to any help from AA or something similar? If he is willing there is a Ton of help out thwr, it has to come from him though

[Author]

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