[kf]

So I’m back again… Since my last post I ve had a really shit time, had several involvements with the police as my partners behaviour was concerning and I suspected he was using Again. He planted drugs in my drawer and told the police they were mine and then went onto tell the police a pack of lies that he was being domestically abused. So I was taken away by the police and detained and questioned, he was detained also as he was the one that hit me. Anyway luckily the police believed me and I was released without charge, he was too. As well as all this my dads been seriously ill in hospital in high dependancy unit which has caused me so much stress also. Tonight I caught my partner acting very dodgy in the kitchen, rustling about with things. I questioned what he was doing to which he replied nothing. I saw him put something in his jacket pocket which looked like a bag from the chemist, when I asked to see inside his jacket pocket he refused point blank saying he had nothing in his pocket apart from skins which he pulled out. He then admitted he had pills in the bag and he was going to a friends house to dispose of them. Initially I thought he had maybe taken my tramadol tablets I have been prescribed for pain in my knee. He still wouldn’t show me, becoming aggressive he grabbed me and pushed me and slammed the door on me which resulted in him leaving quite a big scratch on my arm and my wrist from where he grabbed me is aching. I told him to get out and not come back, I have my son to think about… It’s not on!! He went away came back bombarded me with phone calls to let him in, I ignored him. Eventually he fessed up to what was in the bag and told me it was a needle but one his friend left outside in our outdoor bucket so he said he brought it in so he could dispose of it correctly at his pals house. Still not sure what the truth is, I was adamant even more so he wasn’t getting back in. I phoned the police and they have took him away and detained him, although the domestic abuse allegation I have made towards him is only really my word against his apparently even though I have a mark so the likelihood is he will be released without charge tonight and allowed back here as it’s a joint mortgage. I’m totally stressing I have a social worker coming round next week about the last involvement with the police. I’m worried I’m going to get my boy taken away from me even though I am doing absolutely everything right to safe guard our son. And now this report will end up going through in a couple of weeks time. I need him out but I dunno how to do it as it’s a mortgaged house jointly between us. After everything that’s went on these last few weeks I also don’t want him having unsupervised access so how would I go about making this happen. I’m absolutely heartbroken, This is so difficult I’m stuck between a rock and a hard stone. Even after all this stress, heartbreak and upset I still love him so so much…. How can that be!! I just can’t imagine my life without him. I had a perfectly little family and now it’s broken. Heroin has robbed me of a future with the only Man I ve ever loved!! Nothing describes this pain I’m feeling… I’m numb. I wish it was easier to walk away I would have done it along time ago but this is incredibly hard. Anybody have any advice xx

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