[68862]

Well I’m sad to say that I’m back on here again ????. My son has a cocaine habit which cost him his marriage and the way it’s going, will cost him his job, son girlfriend and us (mum and dad). He’s been a gambler, drinker and user for the best part of 15 years and he’s only 33! We’ve learnt that the gambling was ultimately to pay for his habit and the drinking fuelled the urge to use. Thankfully he’s self excluded himself on a number of bookies and online sites and incredibly hes stopped drinking for almost a Year. He was clean for almost 4 months back last summer but bumped into a dealer in the chippie before Christmas and has hit it hard since. I need to add that as a mum who was emotionally blackmailed for months before the marriage breakup, being told he had to put money back in the account to pay for the mortgage and dealers were going to smash the door down and beat his wife and baby up, I ended up in debt of approx £40,000. Why you might ask did I let it get to that state? Those of you that used cocaine or live with someone who does will know how sob stories, regrets, tears and promises to pack it in rench at those that love you. My son was a real happy go lucky boy and liked by everyone, a real people person. He is now a depressed, isolated liar with anger issues. Why am I back on? Because the emotional blackmail has started again and I want to be tough and tell him no! No more money but its hard. Yesterday I really wanted to tell him.where to go and block him but I couldn’t. His suicidal thoughts and depression were back with a vengeance. I need strength to do it and I know by us giving him money its enabling him and the worse thing to do so if anyone has any tips or strategies I’d love to hear them. He has been to a drugs project, we attended family and friends meetings but it all seems now as if there is actually no end in sight until the inevitable happens. ????

[cxxx]

I’m sorry your going through this, I’m going through it with my partner/ex now he tried committing suicide last time we split up & I took him back but he didn’t change he was spending 100 a day & I’ve had to kick him out he’s on his mums sofa.

I have found out that u can get him sectioned if u are the next of kin, I wasn’t married so it is down to my ex mum but she won’t cos she hasn’t lived it along as me, I hope u can help him it’s harder when it’s your son x

[68862]

He was living with us when his ex couldn’t take it anymore but he managed to get a flat last June and that’s when things were looking up for him. Then it all went down hill again. I didn’t know about getting him sectioned that’s worth remembering, thanks. He’s just told his dad he’s in a good place today but we’re walking on eggshells all the time. He just doesn’t realise how we’re hurting. I’m sorry you have had a tough time of it too, thank you for responding.

[icarus-trust]

So sorry to read your post about your son’s cocaine habit and the hurtfuI effect it has on you. If you would like some support you may find it helpful to contact us at Icarus Trust. We are a charity that supports families around those with addictions. We offer a range of services which you can find out about if you get in touch. One of our Family Friends would talk with you and may be able to help you see your way to dealing with the emotional blackmail.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck.

[Author]

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