[brighterdays1234]

Hi DanH,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through so much. These decisions are never easy, but the only thing I would say if you have any doubt in your mind that staying with him isn’t what you want then I wouldn’t.

As in my experience it only gets harder when you have children and if he’s struggling now without the added pressures that family life brings the chances are he will find it very hard to cope if you do have children in the future. Which will cause you more years of stress, worry and upset. Also the pure exhaustion that comes with caring for your partners emotional well being as well as your children’s.

I have been with my partner for 13 years we have two children together a house and a business. He was always up and down over the years, depression, talking to other women, drinking to much for periods of time then fine for 6 months then something else would happen. Most recently for the last 16 months he’s been using coke and spent about 80-90K on it so far. He’s been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, ADHD as well and looks to me to solve it all.
He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and feels because he had 3 months clean he’s not an addict plus he blames me for his relapse as I wasn’t giving him enough attention.
I know my situation is different in many ways from yours, but I wanted to reply because I wanted to say save your self from anymore future  heartache and leave him.
If he’s serious about getting better great but only time will tell and if after a year he’s doing well then you never know what fate might do but I would say until he’s been through stressful times and coped well without relapsing your never know.
He’s not your responsibility to fix you have to look after yourself and your own future.
I wish someone had said this to me before I settled down with my partner and had children as now it’s so much more heart breaking and harder to leave.
Take care whatever you decide xx

[eddie123]

There is an excellent charity that I know can support you – they have a remote family support group, and also provide free treatment for addicts struggling with addiction issues. To read more about them and receive the help please see link https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

you can fill in the referral form on their website.

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