[tata12]

I kicked my now ex boyfriend out a month ago today. He has lived in my home for three years. For a year and a half he had slowly changed. He was lethargic, irrational, distant. He said it was because of working nights. Everyday it got worse. He avoided me and I avoided him.

He was always angry and never interested in sex. When we did try to have sex he couldn’t preform.

Eventually I just stopped asking and he slept in the other room.

One night in August he was in a very good mood. He seemed happy and very talkative. We went out to sit on the patio and listen to music. While looking for speaker I found empty condom box and two sex toys. I asked him about them ( of course I’m angry and confused because I am always home, never leave so cant imagine why the empty condom box and sex toys in tool cabinet outside). He admitted he has had a porn addiction most of his life. The condoms he said were so he wouldn’t make a mess.

After that, I started investigation. I found a phone number he had called twice every hour for 48 hours! That ended up being a drug dealer. He claims he was trying to get drugs for coworkers. I also discovered his data usage was 100 times what a normal person uses. I asked him to leave. He wouldn’t. Over the next few weeks he became angry and verbally abusive. I finally got a restraining order. After he left I found more hidden dildos, (apparently he sticks them in his bum with cocaine or meth on the ends). I caught him a few times doing something weird but didn’t know at the time that was what he was doing.

I also found whippets (nitrate oxcide) hidden in his golf bag along with several double “a“batteries. Over the last four weeks I have found many many double a batteries along with other drug paraphernalia hidden all over my home inside and outside. I now know he was also stealing money from me. All the lies and betrayals have my world turned upside down! I have no idea what the batteries were used for or what else I will find. The hearing for restraining order is in a month. He is a 54 year old man with no vehicle, phone. I did pay for a month hotel for him which he must leave today. I assume he will stay with his dad who is also a drug addict or find another victim. I’m so sad and devastated. I found hidden paperwork for domestic violence from another state. He has a warrant out if he ever goes back there. His ex in that state told me she kicked him out because of cocaine and alcohol abuse. The advocacy group helping me says there will be other things I’ll find out. I can’t believe all the secrets and lies he told. He is still blaming me and denies everything. He tell others i am crazy. I let him pick up his things with a police officer present but refuse to let him have his pet. She doesn’t deserve to live in a horrible place watching him spiral down. He also became very anbusive with all my pets. I’m so afraid he might have also given me an STD if he was sleeping with others. He promises he wasn’t but nothing he says is ever true. I feel much better tgat he Is gone. I had no idea how toxic and depressing it was when he was here. I mostly am having a hard time because I am truly hurt that he probably never cared about me or loved me. I’m just lost and so confused

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