[makeupbyjomarie]

Hi, so I have been dating this guy for a few months. On our 4th date, we watched a movie at his house and around midnight I looked over and he was nodding out, his head was slowly falling back onto his pillow with mouth hanging open, almost making a gurgling/ snoring noise, eyes rolled into back of head, sweaty, itchy, sniffling, rubbing face, and mumbling, in and out of consciousness. On several dates, his eyes have been droopy, slurred words, been itchy and sweaty, even small pupils. He states that he takes methadone for back pain and the reason he was acting that way that night was because he was drinking beers while on methadone( his medicine for back pain) . I don’t buy it, and don’t know what to think. I hope this is the right forum to post this kind of thing and finally get some clarity. Thanks

[makeupbyjomarie]

I get that this may be the wrong site for this type of questioning, but I just figured somebody could help me get some insight. I am at the end of my ropes and at the verge of a nervous break down. Thank you

[jem]

I’m really sorry you’re in this situation. It’s very hard to get someone to tell the truth about their addiction. My experience of methadone is that to get it on prescription you have to prove to addiction services that you’re a heroin addict. Even then you usually have to go to a chemist on a daily basis or every couple of days to get it – UK. Whether it’s methadone or heroin you need to know what’s going on. An opiate habit is very hard to live with for a partner or parent. If you’re not too far in I’d seriously think about getting out. No one sets out to be an addict but equally not many people set out to build a life with one either, and it does sound that he’s not been honest with you about this. From experience trying to have a conversation in a very non-confrontational way, showing empathy for what he might be going through is the best way to give him the confidence to open up and talk about this. But you will have to be on guard that he may just spin you a line. If he’s serious about you and getting clean he should tell you what’s going on. But how he feels about his own future may change on a daily basis if he is struggling with addiction. Good luck, keep posting, it does help.

[makeupbyjomarie]

Thank you, honestly I’m not naïve. I just really needed to hear some reiteration from a second party. I just really wanted it to be him. But all the signs have pointed otherwise. I struggle with a lot of anxiety and depression on my own. I don’t feel in my heart that I can fix somebody else. But I do pray he gets the help that he deserves. Because I know he can be a great human being. Thank you for replying to my thread. You don’t know how much it means to me. I was feeling very low. I feel very grateful to have someone reach out to me. So thank you

[jem]

My heart goes out to you, you sound lovely but honestly you can’t fix this only he can. If you want to know where all of this goes, read the Theresa thread on this forum, it’s a group of mum’s trying to help with and survive our children’s addictions. That will tell you everything you need to know about the years you can lose in waiting for someone you love to find the strength within themselves to change their mindset and build a new life. It’s not as simple as just giving up a substance that is highly addictive, they have to change their lives, take responsibility, work every single day at being drug free.

I heard an interview on the radio last week with a young guy who’d got clean then relapsed when his partner had a baby. Eventually he did get clean again and got access to his child, after it was taken into care by the authorities. That is not a future that anyone wants. There’s a happier life out there for you xxx

[Author]

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