[paw_x]

Hi AnonJ,

I don’t know if it’s trying to change the font that messes these posts up, but I’ve managed to read what you’ve said anyway.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And don’t be hard on yourself, as nobody knows what to do in these situations.

Yes you can’t control his actions or his addiction. But you can put in place boundaries that might help him see that what he’s doing isn’t going to be tolerated by you. Standing by and saying “I’ll love you and stand by you regardless” for me, led to nothing but more lies, more cocaine, more money being blown, more destruction. It was enabling him to continue with what he was doing while the demon in his head told him “she’s fine with it, she’s stayed with you, it’s all okay”. I can’t speak for everyone but that’s how it was for me. I had to leave my partner, let him hit rock bottom, and let him have no choice but to get clean and sober before I seen him really try to get better.

Mines is my soulmate as well but best believe if he goes down this path again, I’ll be saying my final goodbyes. I know my limits and I can’t sacrifice any more of my life for him. Think about your own limits and try to put in place some boundaries that will help you. Sometimes that means time apart for you to focus on what you want.

There is no right or wrong way but he needs to be at CA meetings every day, and properly in the recovery process, or this is all pointless as you’ll be in a neverending cycle of mental torture and you deserve better. Best of luck x

[Author]

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