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Hi, this is my first post. For a year now ive lived with my boyfriend. Before we moved in i didnt realise the extent of his drinking.
When we first moved in he was drinking every night, at the very least a bottle of wine a night but on werkends it could be up to 15 beers a night.
Although hes cut back marginally hes still drinking alot. He holds down a stable job because he only drinks during the weekends, but he drinks from friday-sunday and i spend my own weekends looking after him, taking on his chores, putting him to bed etc. Im just so exhausted with the way he’s acting.
In the past 2 days he has drank a bottle of wine, 8 beers and a full litre of vodka. Once he starts drinking he cant stop until he passes out, which is how i found him this morning. Normally when he wakes up still drunk, he reaches for another drink to ‘avoid a hangover’. He denies having any sort of dependancy on alcohol.
I feel like im fighting a losing battle. He has grown up with alcohol dependant parents, his siblings drink as much as he does. His close friends drink alot as well. I feel like they all encourage him and tell him his drinking is normal when it isnt. His mum rings him and they compare how drunk they were the night before and talk about what theyll drink that night. He thinks this is normal, and that im the one being unreasonable.
How can i get through to him?
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Hi there, I’m afraid that your boyfriend is definitely an alcoholic, this behaviour will only worsen as he gets older. The quantity and frequency of consumption is not normal and the passing out, waking up and taking another drink is key…this is not normal. I speak as a widow of an alcoholic.
For you it’s best if you leave and move out of this situation. You say that the friend’s are encouraging ( I had this as well ), but of some of them may also have a problem and / or otherwise they have no idea of the extent of the horror of it!
It sounds like you don’t have children, which is good, because you can get away.
You have a right to your own life, he is responsible for his. My husband was in denial that he had a problem right up until he died, even though he’d been to rehab 3 times. It didn’t work….
The fact that the family also have a problem and possibly some of the friends….let them deal with him then. You deserve a better life than this, he does not think of your well being…..this is all wrong!! Leave never turn back and don’t give him contact details. Good luck!
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