[bellagirl]

Hi

My boyfriend has been doing cocaine for a while now and I’m just not dealing with it really well. He goes out and buys cocaine on a weekday and snorts it for fun with his mates. When he is on it I’ve noticed he becomes very paranoid and he starts questioning me that I’m lieing to him and someone is next to me when really I am at home by myself. It really affects me psychologically, I don’t know what to do please help!

[ash2013]

Hi Bellagirl,

I have been in your shoes, and if I was you, I would leave and live your life. Sadly users underestimate the effects of what they are doing on the people close to them.

I am married, and have a child with a recovering cocaine addict. The ONLY reason I didnt leave was because of our child, and the hope that at some point he would change. He has, but for how long, I dont know.

I also have an 18 year old from a previous relationship, and if I was talking to her (I presume you are quite young) I would tell her to get the hell out of it.

Cocaine creates paranoia, and they become so detached from reality that they actually believe they are right and everyone else is wrong. The reality is that because he’s probably lying to you about his ‘problem’ that you must be lying to him too.

Take care, and I’m here if you want to talk x

[bellagirl]

Hi Jules

Thanks so much for your reply and taking the time to answer my concern.

I am 23 years old. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he only recently has started going on benders where he doesn’t go home or anything. When his off the coke he treats me perfect so it’s so weird that he changes so much on it. I know when he does coke he tells me it’s not like he hides it from me but he seriously believes the things he makes up in his head and he gets so sad and upset the day after.

You don’t think he will ever change ?

Xx

[ash2013]

Hi Bellagirl,

I wouldn’t say that he’ll never change, because he’s young and he could. But do you really want to be on the recieving end of his benders, worried to death where he is, then dealing with the sadness that follows. It sounds like he’s just dabbling, but coke is a sly drug and it pulls you in and before you know it you’re an addict, and you dont know when that will happen.

Would he be happy if it was the other way around and it was you?

Don’t get to the point I was, where it was all consuming, my husbands addiction broke me. I’m not the person I used to be. I just wouldnt want anyone to go through what I have. You are not alone, just remember that. And also remember, this is his journey and his choice at the moment, and if it upsets you then you don’t have to travel with him.

Sending love xx

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