[kittycat]

Hi

I’ve moved in with my partner since May knowing that he used coke occasionally and played poker a lot. He also smokes weed more or less daily and drinks every day.When I moved in it got a lot worse. He says that he knows he’s got an issue and that things have been a lot better for the past ten weeks but that’s not really my experience. He’s no longer using much coke in the week but it’s horrendous on weekends. He does it on his own at home and I have no friends here having relocated so I can’t get out. He will then use Valium also and he’s still asleep now. My weekends have been like this for so long I feel really lonely and like I can’t say or do the right thing. I’ve tried to ride the rollercoaster of I’m going to stop doing any drugs in 2019 then I’m going to do them weekends then I’m going to do them when I feel like it. But there’s so many addictions to swap in and I end up really angry which isn’t fair. Most of his friends support his habit and use occasionally too, he’s stopped seeing his main dealer but there’s times I’ve been tempted to shop the new one as it’s just too easy for him to get it. Luckily we don’t share finances but he is spending thousands and I can’t see a future for me in this situation. I’m really sorry if there are people on here who think I’m being selfish and that he’s just ill but I’m finding it super hard to exist.

[roundy]

Hi,

Sorry to hear this, its a miserable situation. I actually wrote a reply to you, then deleted it as I felt I wasn’t qualified to give the advice, when im in a relationship with an alcoholic! Im good at giving advice, but dont take it myself.

I think the cold hard truth here is, he will not change if he doesn’t want to. You can’t do it for him. You have to decide if you can carry on like this? Have a talk with him, let him know how bad things have got for you.

[Author]

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