[loulou03]

This ment to say… a mortgage I COULDNT handle on my own! I do not want to end the relationship but being stuck financially makes it harder to leave if I make that choice. Sorry for the long post

[paw_x]

Hi Loulou,

I am in a similar situation to you in that it’s not quite as simple to just leave my partner as we’ve taken on a new house in the last year and he’s now admitted relapsing several times after many years of sobriety. However, mines has fully admitted what he’s done, knows he has a problem, and is now at NA meetings every day along with support from mental health. I did ask him to leave the family home as us being around each other during this time doesn’t help, I certainly needed space and time to heal and he needs to feel the consequences of what he’s done and what he might lose. He’s now at his parents house and trying his very best.

It doesn’t sound like your partner has realised his issues and part of that might be that he hasn’t really had any consequences for his own actions. While I might send my partner support it’s not without reminding him of the trauma he’s caused his family and that we might never recover from this. He lied to us all to put his addiction first, he cost us thousands, and the stress he put me through is horrific. Addicts will continue to manipulate you until they can’t get away with it anymore, he needs to know that this isn’t acceptable and that he needs to change. He won’t get there without first accepting he has a problem and so you need to put in place boundaries and put your foot down. You really need to put yourself and your child first. It’s up to him to fix his problem but it’s not up to you to look after him while he does that if he’s not safe to be in the house – it might do you both good for a bit of space if it helps him realise what he’s doing.

Good luck x

[eddie123]

There is an excellent charity that I know can support you – they have a remote family support group, and also provide free treatment for addicts struggling with addiction issues. To read more about them and receive the help please see link https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

you can fill in the referral form on their website.

They also support addicts, and provide free rehab to them if they are ready for help, all the info is on their website!

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