[sukey51]

Hi

My boyfriend of 2 years has been taking drugs, I’m not sure what he exactly takes, but I have seen him take solphadeine in front of me, his exscuse was his toe hurts, hoe ever he hasn’t taken those in a while but takes other drugs behind my back, I see the signs and patterns of his behaviour, more so after he lost his job and he became stressed and felt worthless, a year on after so mainly arguments and throwing him out he hasn’t admitted he takes any drugs but he admits he has mental issues that need resolving, and his sleeping patterns are due to him not working. ( he stays awake 3 or 4 days then sleeps after to catch up, eating habits low then eats a lot to catch up, motivation for life low too ) what do I do ? Do I touch help with his mental issues which may lead him to stop drugs ? Or is he just saying this to get me off his back ?

[theexample]

Sounds like he is in need of someone to really be there for him and that won’t judge or say the obvious things like “that is so stupid of you” etc. unfortunately the drugs is that someone right now.

I’m new to this forum thing, and to be honestly I so happened to click your post by accident and your situation touched home so I made an acct.

As for your question, my opinion is to definitely try to let him open up about (I wouldn’t call it mental issues) but open up about what’s causing him so much pain inside. More then likely he is suffering from something that has happened to him or that took a big toll on him and probably hasn’t opened up about it to someone before. That can really mess with someone’s emotions, which leads to looking for something to help cope with.

Everybody’s different, so you’ll have to make your own approach because you know him better then others I’m sure. Try not to threaten him with leaving him and reacting to his responses because the second you do that, it will most likely dig him deeper into the escape drug, cause that’s what it is at the end of the day, an escape.

Another thing, if you choose to stay with him, you need to understand that your also choosing to go on that rough journey with him, and if you can’t do it because you’ll always assume he is doing it still behind your back when maybe his is or isn’t, you need to make the right choice for yourself also, that worry will consume you and it won’t get easier. But like I said every situation is different.

I hope this helped, never done this before so sorry if that was too much. I wish nothing for the best for you both, the fact that you are trying to find a solution tells me your a genuine person. And if there’s anything else I can help with feel free to ask.

-Chris

[sukey51]

Hi Chris

Thanks for the reply, I’ve never been on these things before myself, very 1st time.

Your reply makes sense to me. I hope I’m doing the right thing by supporting him. But time will tell. His mother and myself are at the same stage in letting him open up. He is still in denial of drugs but I let him be and let him talk. He is currently sleeping it off catching up with his sleep as I reply to your message,

The next couple of days is usually when he as his next fix, he will make an excuse to go out, so this is my test how I handle the situation, ( I hope he doesn’t go )by the way he is 49 years old I hope he is realizing he’s getting older and this isn’t good for him

[hgg567]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about three months. He jus recently started acting weird. I got curious and I saw things about doing cocaine and I asked him about it and he denied it. I knew he was lying to me but I jus let it go because I didn’t want to argue. And I definitely found two different bags that had white powder in them. I’m scared and I don’t kno what to do because he’ll just deny it. I want him to stop so bad.

[sukey51]

Hi

It’s hard but if I had the chance to go back in my relationship and went with my gut feeling, I would of said no to the relationship then, I had the chance back then as I had a choice. You are only 3 months into the relationship, if you feel you can’t cope then you will need to make a choice, otherwise if you carry on with the relationship it will be a lot of strain and heart ache and being lonely.

This is from my experience of 2 years of my relationship, only now i feel hope that even though my bf denies he’s into drugs he is talking about changing is ways and trying to be open. And he’s been blunt that he needs my help for his mental health so by that I have agreed to give him another chance.

And please look after yourself dont lose yourself and stay healthy and don’t stop speaking to your family and friends it’s easily done when you become depressed over your bf’s situation.

[sukey51]

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