[ririn]

Hi everyone,

I am new here. My boyfriend has gambling and alcohol addiction and he’s been in rehab since 2 weeks. Still 3 to go.

Due to covid I can’t go visit him and we are allowed to have only a 45 minutes call per week.

We’ve been together for 3 years and a half with lots of ups and downs because of his addictions.

I am really struggling being outside alone and not being able to see him or call him more.

He seems to be doing ok and working on his issues, but today he started the call saying he wanted to end our relationship cause he felt locked in it and that he owed me something for what I’ve been through because of him.

We talked and at the end of the call he said he is just too stressed and everything is heavy and that he didn’t mean what he said at the beginning.

He told me he loves me and it was just a stressful moment and that he still wants to be with me.

I am really stressed after this call and don’t know how I will be able to wait another 18 days without knowing what he really wants to do when he gets out.

I think after all these years I became codependent and don’t know how to get out of it.

Anyone has any advice?

[bell1968]

Don’t be stressed! This isn’t on you.

They blame you for the bad place they are in.

My husband blames me for his drinking all the time.

But don’t push him. I find this is their form of control over the situation. They made these statements and then want you to follow it up so that they can off load some more.

This isn’t on you and don’t for one minute think it is.

I have had so many years of this I have now just switched off.

Don’t be an emotional punch bag. They never take responsibility for their actions and never accept that they hurt you.

[Author]

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