[jess1]

Hello,

I am divorced, and in a new relationship.

He is a male verison of myself which we love as we connect so deeoply. That being said my boyfriend has a DUI, and is going through a divorce himself. When he is not drinking he is so loving, funny, affectionate, and calm. When he is drinking he is mean, loud, yells and meow’s. Just last night he got us a noise complaint as he was just meowing very loud. He goes from being annoying to mean and yells at me to get out. We have been together and he has relapsed 5 times that I know have.

Early on in our relationship he would just not answer for hours or ignore my calls, but one time I went to where he was staying at an air bnb and found him drunk rather than working at a new job he had gotten. What did |I do?

Well I picked him up off the floor, fed him, got him back to bed, made sure he had his medication in him, and took off his clothes and tucked him in, and kissed his forehead like a loving girlfriend. I did this twice. Now we are 4 months in and |I still do how sad is that. He gets home from work drunk but will never admit it to me and I made sure he eats, and takes off his clothes, gives him his medication, and tucks him in.

What hurts me the most is that he during one of my moments as I have PTSD from my ex husband he looked me in the eyes and told me I am worthy, I am worthy of love, and to be loved. He told me he has never loved someone as much as he does me, and that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else , just me. He told me he was going to make sure I never had to worry about bills again like my previous marriage. He said I deserve nothing but the best, and I actually beleived him.

Then he cheated. We had been arguing for a soild couple of days and I found on his phone he was talking to a girl on instagram. I called him out on it and he said I am from the 1900’s and need to get with the times. Guys can talk with girls and have them as friends. His best friend is a girl, but also they tried to do the deed and it didn’t happen.

Anyway he planned this romantic trip and took us away for the weekend and it blew me away. I was so in love and felt like a princess. Then the follwing Tuesday I knew something was up so I checked to see if she was deleted….. NOPE he has talked to her yesterday morning right after we had s2x, oh and while we had gone away he had chatted with him calling her beautiful, and told her we had broken up a couple days ago. ALL WHILE playing me!

Fast forward to today he came home last night and said he wanted liquor and |I advised against it as he had drank 4 bottles since Sunday and it was only Thursday, but he agreed it would be small so I said okay as you do not work tomorrow. He comes home and tells me he couldnt do it. He couldn’t do it to us, and keep destroying us anymore, he loves us. I wake up at midnight to see him drink from a bottle he had in his jacket.

So please how do you beleive someone who continuously hurts you, and breaks your heart…..?

Do I stay?

DO I continue to swallow my saddness and put on makeup to look less sad….

[leda]

My head says don’t stay. I just posted about my situation with my partner who has just gone through rehab and now going straight back to the person- I call “Mr Hyde” from Jekyll and Hyde. He also has previously said the right things at the right times- but ultimately he is eroding me even more than I was. You sound like a “carer”personality like me- giving to people but not receiving. We are worth more than that. These addicts words are not based on truth- because they are not in a rational mind to give us truth. I think we need to looks after ourselves and not expect much from them.

[jess1]

I hate to admit, but reading your response made me cry.

Cry as I feel as though I have been extremly vunerable with him. My ex husband asbused me, and raped me during his final “mental episode”. I trusted this man after the hearbreak I have endured. I just found 2 liquor bottles in the bottom of the bathroom cabinet in his trimming bag.

He went from hiding it in a bed by the bed, to behind the toilet, and now this.

I can’t use the bathroom without looking behind the toilet. I feel stuck, and not loved anymore. My issue is I always stay for way to long, and endure the worst.

[jess1]

I hate to admit, but reading your response made me cry.

Cry as I feel as though I have been extremly vunerable with him. My ex husband asbused me, and raped me during his final “mental episode”. I trusted this man after the hearbreak I have endured. I just found 2 liquor bottles in the bottom of the bathroom cabinet in his trimming bag.

He went from hiding it in a bed by the bed, to behind the toilet, and now this.

I can’t use the bathroom without looking behind the toilet. I feel stuck, and not loved anymore. My issue is I always stay for way to long, and endure the worst.

[leda]

I’m sorry to hear your previous ex was abusive also. It makes it harder if you have then opened up to your current boyfriend about this and feel vulnerable. You deserve more than this. I too have believed the lies and spent time looking for hidden drink because he said he had stopped but I knew deep down he hadn’t. Alcohol is their top priority so they will always have that in their mind, no matter what they tell us.

[Author]

Posts