[josiejo]

Hi.

Have just found this site as am struggling with my 29 year old son and his drug abuse. He has smoked cannabis for years and dabbled with cocaine for a number of years now although I thought it was recreational. Since lockdown he appears to have been taking something every day……. weed/ coke and I’m now convinced he is on something else too. He has lost his job….. not paid rent so will be kicked out soon but he is still doing drugs and I just dont know what to do. I went to see him last friday but he wasn’t there – I’m scared to see him because from what I’ve heard he looks a mess and has lost a lot of weight. I am beside myself with worry and cant stop thinking about him.and what sort of mess he is in. My other son has spoken to him and he told him He hates his life and is embarrassed about himself – he promised to call me but hasn’t and instead went out with one of his druggie ‘friends’. I just dont know what to do any more. I feel like ive lost him and that he is going to end up dead if he continues on self destruct. In the past when I have tried to help I just get angry and shout at him and I know this wont help him. I feel sick when I think of what he has become……… he is a handsome young man who has always taken pride in himself…….. I am so scared of what he now looks like. I just dont know what to do and dont want to talk to family cos they will just tell me it’s his choice. I want to take him away form it all and make him better bit o know it’s not that simple………. my heart is breaking and I feel useless ????????

[kklost]

I feel so sorry for you. I don’t think you can do anything if he’s not coming to you.

I always looked in on this world (been in it 2 days… so I’m clueless I now learn) and thought if it was a child, it would be easier to fix, as you have that parental hold. I think it’s less labour to help a child now I’m living it.

As he isn’t living under your roof (don’t know if that’s good or bad) you have no idea or say/power to ‘stop/help/sort’ it.

My husband has just confessed he’s an addict and promised me the world – he says he will do anything to get this fixed, but I am terrified I’m a fool for believing it. Is it easier to help a spouse as they have more to loose from me, so I can help him see what he will loose.

As it’s your son it’s not the same bargaining tools? Am I even making sense?

How old is your son?

[kklost]

Likely not labour…

[josiejo]

My son is 29. I saw him the other day for the first time since lockdown started and he looks terrible….. face all thin and gaunt. He is in such a mess and i have offered him to move back home to get sorted out but he is making excuses not to come back although he says he wants to sort himself out. He has no job, no income and is now involved with drug dealers from london. I’m so worried and I think an element of him is scared too as I think he is in way deep over his head.

I just cant stop crying when I picture how awful he looks and the things he is doing. It is breaking me literally

[kklost]

Thanks for replying.

You have done everything you can, you have offered him a home. He should take it!

But maybe he just can’t for the reasons you said. I wonder what goes through their minds. It must be something quite deep to turn to this. I wonder if they don’t feel good enough.

The funny thing is they are… they mean more to us than they have any clue.

[scotgal]

Hi I’m reading your post and thinking thats my son 27 does not live with me and he’s not speaking to me as I gave him a few home truths.im lost and cry a lot worry about thinking hes going to kill himself with depression ????

[februarymarie]

Hi Scotgal- I’m here if you ever want to talk. My son is also not speaking to me. He wants to be left alone to drink himself to death. My son is 38. You can read my post, ” Mother of Adult Alcoholic Son”. I need people to talk to sometimes too..

❤

[cornwallmother2020]

I just wanted to offer my support. I have no words but I am going through very similar so you are heard & I am here if you need someone who can relate.

Take care

[februarymarie]

I’m so very sorry for what you are going through. I have an addicted son too- alcohol. I’m here for you if you need an ear, because I need an ear sometimes too.

❤

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