[natalie]

My brother drinks a lot and takes drugs, weed mainly. He suffers with depression and anxiety, he has nights where he goes out for drinks and gets himself in such a state that my mum and I always have to help him get home either by picking him up or paying his cab fares. Not before receiving a lot of abusive messages towards the female gender and my mum and I, but also threats to end his own life, we try to be as rational as possible and it has become this cycle where he does this and we just have to tell him we love him and just want him to get home safe. This has been going on for so long and I just know that one day I am going to lose him. My mum and I just don’t know what we are supposed to do. We support him as best we can and always forgive him for the way he treats us when he has had a drink because when he is sober he is so apologetic. He refuses to get help. Refuses to admit he has a problem. Is too lazy to seek therapy help for his depression so sticks to anti depressants which he drinks with but doesn’t see the problem with it. If we try and speak to him about it he gets defensive and verbally abusive. I just don’t know what to do. We want to help him but can you really help someone that refuses to help themselves?

[danman83]

For a start alcohol is a depressent so defeats the object of taking anti depressents. But anyway.. im 2month clean today from cocaine.. and cocaine made me want to commit suicide . Even in front of my gf which wasnt good.

Is he on coke? Sounds like he could be.

How old is he?

And what ever he is doing , he must want to quit on his own, because you will never make him. Id sit him down you and your mum, tell him it needs to stop and you aint bailing him out anymore unless he changes.

[dnanon]

I agree, anti-depressants and alcohol do not go well together. How old is your brother? Is he at college/working? Are you able to persuade him to,speak to a counsellor? It is difficult to help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. When he is feeling sorry for his behaviour perhaps you can try and talk to him then.

[icarus-trust]

Hi Natalie,

I’m sorry to read your post and see how your brother’s drinking and drug taking affects both you and your mum. It’s very difficult for you as he does need to accept he needs help to be able to change.

If you and your mum would like any support for yourselves please contact us at The Icarus Trust. We are a charity that provides support to the families of people with addictions, because we know how hard it is to cope with this. If you contact us we can put you in touch with one of our trained and experienced people who would listen and try to help you find a way through.

You can contact us on help@icarustrust.org or visit the website http://www.icarustrust.org

Good luck with everything.

[Author]

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