[ladybug]

Hi All.

I need some guidance and support that what I am doing is the right thing.

I lost my dad 9 years ago to a dependency on alcohol and a heart defect. We knew it was coming – we just didn’t expect the police to phone us with the news that they had broken in and he was gone.

Long story short.. my brother has a dependency on alcohol, cocaine, benzodiazepines….. maybe more.

Hes asking me for money to clear a debt £2k. He was functioning and always held down a well paid job but never moved out of mum’s house.

I’ve already given him 1500 over the months since this has come to light.

He has used since I gave him the money (to pay this guy off) and added to the tab. I knew I wasn’t going to get it back… he still lives at my mums and her want to protect her from anyone knocking at the door.

In June I decided to say no.

He stole my mums debit card.

I think I was the last link in the chain that enabled him.

He’s telling me now that his debt will be sold and he’ll be hospitalised.

I’ve still said I can’t help.( I’m dying inside) I’ve always told him I love him and will be there always but can’t provide any more money.

Am I doing the right thing?

[sherry]

Hi my daughter had been a heroin addict for 20years I have had to let go .

She is homeless no income I think off her everyday I go to counselling as I’m dying in side .I know how you feel .

I have paid for rehab myself giveing her so much money I dare to think how much ..

My life for the last 20years has been chaotic and I’m nearly 60 I can not help anymore ,drugs are the most important thing in her life ..

Yes I love her but she will destroy me .

So yes you have to. set boundaries ..

Hope your brother seeks help .

Your life matters too .

[doctors-wife]

Absolutely doing the right thing – set clear boundaries and stick to them and maybe tell your mother who is vulnerable to exploitation.

Get yourself some support either from http://www.teenchallenge.org.uk

or google The Recover Course who do 12 week courses for addicts and family support alongside.

Cocaine and benzodiazepines are highly addictive and only rehab will save him I’m sorry to say, so in the meantime save yourselves and do all that you can to stop enabling him.

Call the police or crimestoppers anonymously to report the dealer or even your brother – make him homeless if he won’t seek help. Until he wants to change you and your dear Mum will be used and manipulated.

Heartbreaking but stay strong. Loving him will not be shown by giving him money.

Sending all good wishes for strength and wisdom. xx

[2468]

Hi yes like you I give my son money he steals from me and grinds me down he is ruining his own life and mine so like u I have to cut off his money he works but takes from me too. I love him but iv got to change my way if thinking to help him like u and your brother

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