[kf]

I was with my ex 8 years he is a heroin addict, I left him back in August when his drug use spiralled out of control as I didn’t want my son being around this. Since then it has been an emotional roller coaster with court cases etc. My ex stopped my son and myself from going on holiday and he has been nothing but a pain in the ass with the sale of the house so much so I am going to have to force the sale now. Anyway at my last court hearing despite the fact my ex failed his drug test he was granted unsupervised access and the supervision by his parents was lifted, I really don’t understand why any sheriff would do that given his chaotic drug use anyway she did and he now get 2 6 hour visits a week. I won’t go into the whole thing but basically he has been using drugs whilst having contact with our son, quite a few times I have seen him intoxicated when collecting our son. Anyway today I picked my son up and we walked to the bus stop, my ex comes walking down to the bus stop and just so happens to get on our bus, he was chatting away being all nice telling me about their day, we were chatting and laughing together just like we did over the years, i guess I kinda miss that 🙁 we would have been perfect for each other had it not been for this horrible addiction. I feel truely robbed, I dunno if I ll ever get over this I still love him but it’s so much easier to hate him when he’s under the influence. When he is like how he was today it makes me miss my life and how it used to be without his addiction problems. I dont know how to get rid of these feelings I just feel so sorry for him when he’s like that 🙁 This is horrible all I have done since I got back in is cry, deep down I’m absolutely heartbroken things never worked out.

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