[vmac123]

Hey it’s been a while. I asked my partner to move out since he wasn’t paying anything towards the house and was constantly drunk or gambling and we hadn’t been intimate in nearly 2 years. He went back to his parents and has been there for just over 2 months.

We still try to spend time together but I’m really struggling to move on if I’m honest. I feel constantly suspicious.

He says that things have come up some evenings and doesn’t come to see me but his mom says he’s just lying around in bed. Then a fiver went missing and I know he must have it if it’s not in the house but he denies it so what can I do? I know it’s only £5 but he could still gamble or buy booze with it! I know that he’s now taking anti depressants and that they have his bank card and as far as I’m aware he isn’t really drinking or gambling as he’s banned himself from local bookies and the local pub but something still doesn’t feel right. I hate admitting it but I still don’t feel like I can trust him and I’m wondering if I ever will again? It’s a horrible place to be in… is there anyone who has successfully rebuilt a relationship with an addict?

[blackhound]

Heya VMac123… This is my first ever post to this forum.

Your topic of choice, Trust, rings so very loudly for me.

In a couple of sentences… Trust takes so much time and so much evidence. I mean evidence in the sense that they’ve shown you changed behaviour. Although I don’t ever think you can truly trust an addict (past and especially present).

It will take years to build something like trust back up again. So I guess the question is can you wait that long to see if he does change …

[vmac123]

Thanks for your reply Blackhound. I am asking myself everyday if I can ever truly trust him again. I’m still waiting to see if he gets this month’s wages sent to me. I’m already prepared that it will be a no and at that point I need to make it clear that I don’t want to be kept dangling. It shouldn’t be taking this long to sort his finances if he truly wants to come home. I’ve told him his wages come to me before he can move back in – that was at the start of October. I think allowing until December has been long enough to keep being told next month next month. This is truly the most difficult situation to be in. I think being the partner of an addict is horrific and I hope you are now doing okay.

[Author]

Posts