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I love him but hate him at same time for what he is doing to our family
Noone knows as im too embarassed to tell anyone but its getting to the point where i want him to go as i am fed up of the constant lies
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Hi Primrose
I’ve just logged in for the exact same reason. He lies and lies and I lie to other people to cover up for him. He’s a depressed drinker, and blamed everything else for years eg his arthritis. But he was so out of it, he refused treatment for months and we swallowed the story. He is essentially a very kind gentle man. Then I had breast cancer and he said he was not sleeping etcbecause of me. He was upset, because of me. He is a secretive drinker, and clever at it too. I was deceived big time. After my chemo I found a bottle under a car seat and it turned out that he was drinking like a fish and so I went thru treatment with a man who was very depressed, and appeared to have early dementia. He could barely think and his memory was awful. And he blamed it all on my cancer, the worry etc and pretends he wasn’t drinking.
The latest blow. Just found out that though he’s told us he’s stopped drinking, since late Feb, ( cutting down didn’t work) he has in fact continued to drink, but less.
I get so angry . It doesn’t help but my daughters and I believed him. It dates back more than 30 years. He is getting help for the first time, but I’m not.
My biggest problem is I’ve nobody to talk to about it, apart from my grown up daughters who live away.
I do hope somebody replies. If you know of any groups online eg Facebook please let me know. Thank you
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Pat and Primrose I’m in the same situation as you both
My husband used to drink 6 days a week and hold down a job
His drinking and a few other problems ended our maraige after 25 years
He moved away and came back after a while
I helped him sort out a new flat and he stopped drinking
He really is the most kind and thoughtful person when he isn’t drinking
After a while we became close again and we re married
Just after this he started drinking again , but only at weekends ( what man doesn’t is his war cry )
He usually gets really drunk after 1 or 2 glasses now and that’s were all the vile things start to come out
I’m no angel and argue back
I honestly can bear it when he drinks
I can’t go to family and friends as I’m embarrassed that I let myself get into this situation again
So I pretend all is ok
I hope both your situations improve
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Don’t know how to edit this but that should have said can’t bear it ,not can
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Came upon this post… I’m on the same boat. I have my oldest going to college out of state and I can’t disrupt him leaving to college if I tell him I can’t be married to his father anymore. We also have a 7 year old girl and loves her dad. I AM STUCK!
I just found out he’s hiding the liquor but can’t confront him. Like you, he will take it out on something else and smash it up. He binge drinks and “I only drink in the weekend” is his response. I thought he was the only person to use that exact line. Like said “war cry”
I’m glad I’m not alone, but no one is close enough for me to express it openly to.
I’m hoping someone can provide guidance because I’m an tired, stuck, frustrated, ashamed and all the horrible feelings tied to being married to an alcoholic in complete denial.
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Just came upon this post. I am in the same situation with my husband, when he drinks and gets triggered by something he can say some really hurtful stuff, then when i mention it the next day it’s always I was drunk, I can’t remember. He has admitted to having a problem but not doing anything to stop. We have two young children.
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Nova = I answered this in 2018
Sad part… I am still with him.
My son graduated = his life went on like normal
My daughter.. She is now seeing and understanding much more.
Just wanted to let you know… It does not change.
We have clean months, and then we have horrible binging months.
THIS WAS A SIGN… Out of nowhere, this alert came up. I am back in the same place I was in 2018.
But worse now, unemployed and trying to figure out what to do.
I am not providing my daughter with the right example.
I need to let go
I wonder who else is still stuck in the same place from 2018
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Sorry you are still going through this and if this has brought up bad memories.
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It’s OK.. Assurance that staying was a mistake ????♀️????
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