[fayzey]

Hi everyone, I’ve only just joined and started posting as even though I have friends and family that know some bits I can’t go into detail with them – it’s embarrassing and I know they don’t get it cos I wouldn’t have done until it happened to me. Seems like a lot of us are unfortunately in the same boat!

I felt like stupidly that everything was going to be ok this time, he’s been clean for almost 2 years as far as I know (although he did almost die from pneumonia in that time so definitely couldn’t take drugs for a long time even if he wanted to!). Now he’s better and it’s back to square one – he was offered a line and couldn’t say no (didn’t admit it at the time I found out a few weeks later) and now he’s fully back on the coke as far as I can tell – he won’t admit anything but I’’ve caught him out a few times. He spent £150 in a day the other day. He’s not been working which I don’t mind when he’s pulling his weight but not when he’s off doing god knows what all day….

To make matters worse, he got a message saying ‘fancy a smoke’ (he doesn’t smoke) so I am worried he’s smoking crack – who knows as he is denying everything.

We’ve got 2 kids – one’s his 3.5yrs old and they have a great relationship and if it wasn’t for that I’d end it but then you can’t help but feel sorry for them it’s so hard but I don’t think I can go through this again….. he’s not even admitting there’s a problem yet so I don’t know what to do, just wait it out til it gets worse? Kick him out now but he’s got nowhere to go and maybe that will make everything worse?

I got contacted by his mental health worker as she can’t get hold of him- maybe I could speak to her but don’t want to get him in trouble I just know he needs some help….

Long rant sorry I’m normally a positive upbeat person but it’s hard to keep that up at the moment…thanks for reading x

[Author]

Posts