[bagley11]

I’m at my wits end and don’t know what to do. I’ve suspected for a while and I’m 100% certain he’s doing cocaine but I can’t prove it. I’ve asked him and even 2 years ago got a drug test which he failed but blamed that on being his birthday and going out enjoying himself. He’s in a lot of debt and regularly fails to give me my housekeeping money. I just don’t no what to do. If it was just me I’d be gone but we have two young children who adore him. I’ve got nobody to turn to for advice so seeking help here.

[tory11]

Im so sorry your going though this i’m in exactly the same situation i knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it till one morning he got up and a voice inside me said check his pockets now!! and there they was two bags of cocaine i was fuming as i had been working two jobs looking after are children and he still stood there and claimed they was not his or the rolled up £5 note he used to take the stuff at that point i was done so he left for three weeks it was bliss but he came back with all the promises he would stop and help fast forwards 2 years and nothing has changed he leaves for three days at a time sneaks in when he know we’re asleep to sleep on the couch for days at a time . it’s hard the evidence will be there and your gut feeling is not normally wrong . if u need to chat i’m here sending hugs ????

[bagley11]

Thank you. I’ve read your post too and we sound like we’re in very similar situations except I can’t get him to admit he’s doing it. I wish I could just run away with my children!

[tory11]

it’s a horrible feeling when your gut is screaming at u and u just don’t have the proof . i drove myself insane knowing there was something going on but i was not prepared for what it was when i found his stash i would drag my kids out late at night to look for him it was crazy . that was two years ago now if he leaves i don’t look for him the house is nicer when he’s not here . All he does is sleep when he is here anyway . I hope u get some answers i’m always here if u need to talk xx

[bagley11]

Thank you. I feel like I’m going mad sometimes. I’ve found myself simply not caring about him anymore and when he goes out on the weekend I don’t care if he comes home. Him staying out all night doesn’t bother me anymore I just wish he’d tell me he has a problem (but guess he doesn’t think he does) I just don’t understand it . I don’t love him anymore and if he told me that would be my excuse to try and get him to leave. We’re not married but have been together a long time and have children. He’d make my life a nightmare if I finished it. Just wish I had someone to talk to and tell me what to do Or how I get out of this nightmare!

[tory11]

I know how u feel i’ve been searching for the answer it’s so hard . I refuse to leave my home i’ve worked so hard at keeping it over are heads while he’s not cared . his family blamed me for a very long time till they found out the truth when my daughter told them the truth about what was really going on . I think u hide a lot from people i just don’t lie for him any more . u will find the truth hun and realise u was not going crazy . He’s asleep downstairs now taking over the front room while we’re sat upstairs away from him . look after u and your children first i’m always here to chat

[bagley11]

Yes I’m like you I’ve kept our house going so I don’t see why I should leave. We sound so similar it’s unreal.

[tory11]

I guess there all the same when taking drugs i personally have never done drugs i don’t even like drinking due to a bad experience. Its like having a extra child if he’s not told to wash he won’t and makes my room smell ???? . are daughter refuses to talk to him which is sad as they was once close . she helps me a lot with my younger son so i can work she’s 18 I find it hard to understand how someone can go from a great dad and partner to just not caring . i’ve blamed his friends a lot and yes this all started with them but actually he’s a grown man who knows right from wrong . I really hope u find the answers your looking for but don’t let it consume you or u will drive yourself crazy xxx

[tory11]

i’ve even waited for him to use the toilet and hoped he didn’t flush so i can test him but he still denied it even when it was positive xx

[bagley11]

I’ve been tempted to do that too just for my own sanity but he’s find another excuse if it was positive again

[tory11]

The test does not lie even if they try to deny it at least u would know .but your instinct is already telling u . With me i would never have have put it down to drugs i though he was cheating . He probably has but i’ve not got any proof of that we’re not married and if someone else wants to take him on good luck to them they can take him xx

[bagley11]

I wish he would cheat just another reason to get rid of him. I just feel trapped and so alone. I want to start enjoying life again

[tory11]

I feel the same it’s so hard . i’ve lost most of my friends because i’m sure there just bored of listening to the same moans over and over again and i try not to but sometimes u just need to vent . i can even feel my best friend pulling away it’s gone from seeing her every day to maybe once aweek ???? but do i blame her no because who wants to listen to that negativity constantly sending u big hugs xx

[bagley11]

My trouble is I’ve not told anyone what’s happening. I’m ashamed I’m putting up with it but I have no proof. Wish my mum was still here she was my best friend and confidant. I could tell her anything and she’d never judge. I’m sorry your friends aren’t there for you. I have a friend who is constantly breaking up with her partner and I’m fed up of the same old story but that’s what friends do we’re here to listen good times and bad

[tory11]

I’ve not told my parents they live 5 hours away my younger brother knows . my best friends life is perfect her husband is great and always puts her and there kids first they live a completely different life to me sadly the life i crave normality if that’s what normality is sending hugs xxx

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