[johno799]

Don’t no where to start.. my friend who I love dearly is a alcoholic, I’ve tried and done all I can to help him.. but the angry abuse I get and threats scares me. He blames everything on me.. puts me down

I just can’t cope with this mental tourtue anymore.. he even said his death will be all my fault.. I want to walk away but can’t. Don’t no what to do please can someone help.? I haven’t told anyone about this till now but I can’t take much more

[sjx]

Hi Johno,

I know this is easier to say than it is to believe, but it is honestly not your fault. He is his own person. Your friend is capable of making his own decisions without being influenced by you.

My partner always blames his alcoholism on me, it’s always my fault. *eye roll* face and I would of believed him but over this last year I’ve got my confidence back and I now realise I am not responsible for him and will not be anymore. I, like yourself have done everything to help him. He’s even been to rehab, nothing worked. It gave me panic attacks and really bad agoraphobia just from the amount of stress it has put me under. Lock down has probably given me the space and strength to know I don’t want him around me anymore. I know how scary it can be and how guilty they make you feel but if it is seriously affecting your mental health you should probably stop being friends with him. An alcoholic only cares about where their next drink is coming from. They don’t care about who they hurt or upset in the process of it and that’s what you have to bare in mind. His death will absolutely not be your fault, it will be his own fault for drinking too much on a daily basis, you aren’t making him do anything, just try and remember that, if nothing else. He is in control of himself. You are a really good friend by the sounds of it. Not many people would do that for someone but maybe it’s time to give that kind energy to someone who actually deserves it.

[johno799]

SJX thank you so much for your reply, he is doing just that what you say, he gives me panic attacks feel like I’m going crazy. He thinks I can give up everything to look after him..I’ve done all I can to help him I go to his clean his home cook for him. But I’m at the stage now I’m so worn out with his angry ways and threats. I just don’t no how to go about ending our friendship I’m worried. Thank you again x

[johno799]

Sorry to hear your stress with partner, this has stressed me out so much, x

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