- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 2 months ago by smarker.
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June 20, 2020 at 6:10 pm #5944vasloParticipant
Hi, I would like to share my story and to get some help if that’s possible.
My boyfriend and I are together for 1 year now and most of our arguments are about cocaine. He has been using cocaine for a few years but in the last year it has been down to a minimum(since we started dating).
In the beginning, he was hiding it from me (bc i told him i would leave him)but eventually I would find out. And its been 5/6 times I have caught him in a lie and am still with him, so when we argue he always highlights that, if I hadn’t left before i would not leave now. Then he told me how to recognize him when he is on cocaine. I told him from the beginning how i feel about drugs and that some gang killed my friend bc of drugs but he still uses it. I tried everything, from ultimatum to really leaving but nothing works. I even started insulting him when he is on cocaine so that he would be disgusted w himself but nothing. He is reasonable when he’s on it, but the minute he sobers up, he starts playing the victim and portraying it like I’m crazy and unreasonable. I talked to his mother also, and she said that she would’ve left him long time ago if she was me. He doesn’t use it often (2/3 in a month) but it still bothers me. I don’t know what to do, please help me. I love him the most and I don’t want to leave because I believe he can stop with that and I want to help him but i don’t know how.
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June 26, 2020 at 7:15 pm #17507smarkerParticipant
Hi hun. I’m currently going through this myself. However I have ended the relationship today for good. I cannot do it anymore. The lies are unbearable, when it’s very clear they have taken it but continue to lie it’s so hurtful. My boyfriend did that for majority of our relationship, then came clean, said he wouldn’t touch anything again and prove himself. 2 weeks later I find an empty bag inside the bin (which was today!) Obviously denied it but I know the truth and deep down you know they won’t change but because you love them you try see the good side and believe they will. Without professional help and actually wanting to stop I cannot ever see a way forward. I don’t want to plan a future with someone who I don’t trust. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you but stay strong and remember what you deserve. Xx
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