[themidgetgem]

Am I selfish for leaving ?
I have 4 kids aged 19-22

my husband is a cocaine addict and has been for 6 years . I’ve put up with him lying stealing and talking to other women . Drug dealers on my doorstep demanding money
today I have come home from a -4 hour shift as a nurse in A&E to him cutting up cocaine with said be drug dealer in my lounge . As if they do no wrong !! I obviously phoned the police … am I in the wrong ??
my kids seem to think I should have just left him

do you think it’s selfish of me to get my stuff and just walk ?? Because I really do t think I can take much more

im suicidal I just want a way out I cannot cope with it all anymore it’s not normal

[Lozzy80]

Its not selfish. He has totally crossed your boundaries and brought dsnger into your home so the police was the last resort , you did what you had to do to keep yourself self.

Is there anyone you can contact , a family member or friend ? You sound like you have hit beyond crisis point and you need to get help …there is Samaritans 116 123

Hope you stay safe xx

 

 

[themidgetgem]

thank you

he’s still not come home , I really don’t know what to do I love him so much but I think I love the old him and I’m holding onto a relationship and future with my the drug free husband .
I do wonder can you ever get that person back ?
I miss him I miss our family

[Lozzy80]

It seems the answer , for many addicts at least ,  they reach their rock bottom before they do something about it ..usually that involves pushing everyone and everything away 🙁 but sometimes I do hear the odd success story of families that stay together and I suppose we cling onto that hope , that the same will happen for us

[Lozzy80]

Those that recover they are not the same …we all grow…and recovering is a massive part of growing and changing but for the better .

.for those that don’t recover then…some of that old person is still there (and for those of us that fall in love with them that’s what we can see still a bit …) But their minds and life is just totally controlled by the horrible addiction

[eddie123]

Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/

[eddie123]

Hi there, this sounds like a very difficult situation for you and I am sorry. I know of a great charity that supports people like yourselves nationwide. The family support programme is all remote and they help many families a year. Please see link and fill in the referral and someone will endeavour to respond within 24 hours. https://adaptoxford.org.uk/the-icarus-programme/
They also provide free treatment if an addict wants to get clean, have a look at their website

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