[Jules04_01]

Hi everyone

I’m new here so I will give it ago!

My son nearly 30 years old started taking cocaine in a social setting. He had all everything a young man could want a nice new home, good job, great car & engaged to be married. The relationship did turn toxic & messy!! Anyway he lost everything. One thing though I never gave up on him as his mum I’m still in HELL. He went onto to becoming clean for 2 years. Then he met his present partner, everything was ticking along until one-night I had a text I was dreading he was back on it.

And to this day is still on it. As a mother it has shattered every piece of my heart! The family is split into a thousand bits.

Obviously this is the short version as I would never stop typing. Thankyou to whoever reads this & could give some advice, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[NannyJane65]

Hi Jules,

I’m new here too. When I read your story it resonated with me.

I have a son who is a cocaine addict. Has been for half his life (he is 32)

My son is married with three young sons. He lies to his wife that he is not doing drugs. Lies to everyone about everything to be honest.

I hear you. This addiction is heartbreaking, when you are a mum and you can’t get through to your child.

I just let him know I’m here, I send him a checking in text every day. Sometimes I get a text back. Sometimes I don’t.

That’s all I’m able to do for him as his mum right now.

I wanted to reply to your post, I haven’t got any advice as such but I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.

[Jules04_01]

NannyJane65

Thankyou for taking the time to read my thread, you feel so helpless & there doesn’t seem to be anything out professional wise to help.

[daisyday]

I’m so sorry for you both, my partner of 20 years taking drugs hit me hard so I can’t begin to imagine how you feel. Heartbreaking x

[Jules04_01]

daisyday

Thankyou for your kind words.

Sometimes I think I’m living in two separate worlds. One I lead my life & get on with work etc, the other world is my son & what he is dealing with.

[Nicki]

My son is 29 and has a cocaine and alcohol addiction. I see lots of advice on how you should look after yourself but how can you when you are watching your baby destroy himself. I just feel like I want to get into bed and hide there forever

[Jules04_01]

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Nicki thanks for your reply</p>
Yes I do agree with you 100% on this, yet there’s nowhere to turn to get them help unless you have money to pay for rehab & that’s not guaranteed to work!

[paw_x]

Hi Jules,

There are CA meetings on every day all over the place – if you look up CA online there’s lists of them. That’s his best chance of recovery but it won’t work unless he’s willing to go, ideally every day, and willing to engage with the recovery process. Some of the meetings are open so you could go with him as well. The problem is we can’t force them into recovery, they have to want it themselves. It’s frustrating and heartbreaking to watch them destroy themselves but there’s not much else you can do. Try and encourage him to go to a meeting x

[LiilleSunshine]

Nikki I am with you.  My son has been an addict for over 10 years now.  Crack and Ketamin.  He  has ruined my life along with his and I now dread every single day.  He has turned  into an intimidating nasty evil bullying monster and I am desperate to get away from him.  Many of his friends are dead and he  is deteriorating at an alarming rate.

Last year I had hope.  He was going to the meetings and seemed to want to stop and he did stop for a few months but has been on one massive binge since December.  Now 8 months later he is the worst he has ever been.

I just wait now

[m]

Also you can look up smart recovery

it’s meant to have the same success rates as 12 step program, they have meetings too

 

[Author]

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