[gskehan20]

Hi all,

I want to start by saying I really hope someone can give the advice I need to hear and can provide reassurance for how I will feel knowing that the actions that may need to be taken will hurt some feelings.

The background story is I met my currently ex-boyfriend around this time last year. We were first year college students and I know that he wanted to try drugs mainly for the experience but obviously he didn’t think it would come to this. Around May of this year i saw a complete decline in his mental health as him and his friends had, as a group, become addicted to drugs such as weed and cocaine.

I didn’t fully recognise the problem until he had moved home for the summer and began taking it at home in bed or at family events where it was more than unnecessary. This is when i realised he had stopped taking it for fun and began to depend on it. I called him out on it and he got defensive but weeks later told me he was scared of what he was becoming and the affect it was having. Now 5 months later I know he doesn’t go more than 3 days without taking it, His mental health has plummeted and he has mental health related issues before the addiction began. I know he’s completely lost touch with himself and it scares me.

It became so bad that we broke up as he understood he needed to work

on himself and get better but his friends have only made it worse as they cant see the problem with their usage.

I’ve come here to this forum as I know I’m the only one who cares enough about him to want to do something. His parents and brother are unaware of the problem entirely and i think my first option is to at least talk to his brother if not his mother and suffer that he may hate me for this.

I cant get through to his friends that it has changed and ruined such an amazing person. I know he is in at least 800 euro debt and 400 is from last night alone as I know he was taking coke and he later broke down to me as he is scared of it all and i cant see him this way.

I want to help him. I want to see him better and I will take the fall if it means i get to see him healthy some day again. He means the world to me but i have somehow lost this boy to addiction along the way and i want to help him out seems as his friends are too shitty to do so.

All advice and help is greatly appreciated.

[outofideas]

I fully understand how you feel. I have been in this for the past 3 years. His family doesn’t seem to think it’s a big issue, he just needs to “let some steem off”. He doesn’t listen to anyone. One minute he admits that he has a problem, the next he is convinced that he can do it all by himself.

Same issue here with the “friends”. They all use and know his weakness. They know what buttons to push to get him wanting more coke so that he pays for their lines too.

Throughout my pregnancy I had to deal with this and I give thanks to whoever is looking out for me that all the stress didn’t cause any harm to my baby.

I said to him that we should move, get away from the people who are constantly drinking and high on drugs but deep down I know that it would not change a lot. He would find ways to get some gear.

I hope you will get some answers and help. Frankly it’s like him having two families. Like he is cheating on me with the drugs because he’s choosing the gear instead of me and our child.

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