[firstrodeo88]

Really don’t even know where to start writing this. My boyfriend basically has a serious drug problem at the moment. Cocaine is his main vice but also smokes cannabis and is addicted to taking sleepers in large quantities each night. He is having binges on cocaine for anything upto (worst case) 3/4 days at a time. But when it’s just the one night it’s happening upto 3 times a week. I’m constantly on edge when I can’t contact him, he turns his phone off sometimes when he’s doing it. Mixing with the same 3/4 people doing it. It’s awful!! He has his own home, car, money, a good job and a family here for him (I have two children from previous) everything was going great until he fell off the wagon so to speak 4 weeks ago. It was us breaking up that has triggered it – but I do think he instigated an argument just so he could go do drugs when I look back now. It wasn’t a major row at all but he totally blocked me off for two whole weeks. He’s had therapy years ago when he was in a similar situation and it worked. He flits from saying he wants help, wants our life back to normal. To then saying he’s a lost cause and nobody can help him. It’s breaking my heart in pieces and I’m just at a loss what more I can do to help him when he keeps relapsing. He doesn’t have a relationship with his parents at the moment due to a ridiculous row he had with them that got blown out of proportion 7/8 weeks ago. I am in contact with his mum and she is absolutely worried sick like I am. He says he wants to come and stay here for a week to get away from the drug takers (can’t call them friends because they aren’t!) but is it going to be enough? Is me pushing him to sort himself out pressure in itself and am I driving him to it?? I just want him to be ok and I can’t turn my back on him. I love and care for him so much and it’s destroying me watching him destroy himself. So scared he’s going to end up dead if he doesn’t stop. He’s spent approximately 3k in the past 4 weeks as far as I’m aware! Please someone tell me I aren’t alone in dealing with this and give me hope that he can get better. I can’t give up on him.

[paul0572]

What I’ve learned over my girlfriends 2 year long addiction to coke is that it’s like riding a rollercoaster , there will be ups and there will be downs . For you it will be like living with a hurricane , you will be truly tested to your core and get ready for you mental health to take a hit cos it happens to all the loved ones , especially if you take the bad guy role in his eyes , which is normally the person they love the most , as the brain can’t deal with the shame or what they are doing to us . All I can say is that I’ve done everything to get my girlfriend off this stuff , followed her , shamed her dealer I. Front of neighbours , took her cash cards , told her mum and dad and friends .yet she still can’t stop , addiction is a mental illness and he will now be an addict for the rest of his life , but it’s only him that can stop this . You can’t do anything and that’s the truth …buckle up and see how much he actually means to you , when addiction takes grip you loose the person you once fell in love with ….

[icarus-trust]

Hi,

So sorry to read you post. It must feel very lonely what you are going through but there are people as well as on this forum who may be able to help.

I work for Icarus Trust, a charity that offers support to people like yourself dealing with addiction in the family. We have trained and experienced Family friends who you could talk with if you get in touch. They would understand what you are going through and may be you wouldn’t feel so alone. They would be able to let you know what other support is available.

You can contact Icarus Trust on help@icarustrust.org or visit our website http://www.icarustrust.org

Wishing you all the best.

[thistim3]

My heart breaks for you. If you decide to stay with him, protect yourself and your children for the worst as it may happen. My story may be one of the best and I have more than 40 years in. Click on my user id and read my earlier posts. I love him – that’s never been the issue. He says that I saved him, who knows – maybe I did. I’d like to think so anyways. I’d also like to think that we can stay together without anymore relapses, but he has chosen the drug over me before. Maybe he will again. You never know. My advice is to get out, if not for yourself – then for your kids. Take care of yourself either way.

[Author]

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