Hi there
I feel your pain and i know my husband is going through the same just now but won’t admit
I would speak to your GP initially for help and see if there are any local addiction charities or teams
If not CA or NA do the twelve step programme and you will get great support
Well done on posting and in fact you are amazing don’t let anyone tell you any different the fact you have admitted it and asked for help is the best first step
Take one day at a time and try an online meeting with CA tonight xx
Best wishes to you