[wc88]

Hi everybody,

New to this! But completely lost on what to do.

I have been addicted to cocaine for just over a year now. Usually .5 to a g a day (worst spells doing a half Henry in one evening). I feel like I am not myself anymore. I have lost a piece of me this has gotten so much worse during covid where I’ve been consuming so much more during the day, even having it whilst my son is with me (so ashamed of myself). I’ve cut down a little to which is a couple days without it but then followed by days on it again! I don’t even drink with it now just cocaine and nothing else. It’s really effecting my life style and I’m to scared to speak to the ones closest to me for help! I only ever used to do it maybe once every other month when I went out but I can’t shake this daily hold & it’s ruining my life. I still have my job, house etc but I feel like I am pushing away my loved ones and money is becoming a daily stress due to my consumption. I never had an addictive personality and I’ve always managed to be in complete control the times I’ve had it but somewhere this last year or so it’s just spiralled.

How can I beat this? How can I get sober and remove the last abysmal year.. I need to do it before it’s to late.

Please I need help. ????

[jamesb]

Hi mate, sounds like a stupid thing to say but, hope you’re doing alright.

Firstly without the whole cliche, well done for even reaching out by posting on here. This was the first place I ever spoke about my issues and I know being anonymous helps massively because it takes the fear of people you’re close to finding out. So that being said, I’m on here atm most days so feel free to message anytime you need.

You’re story is very similar to mine in alot of ways. And honestly, it’s. Kind of the Blueprint to everyone who ever got addicted to cocaine. Starts off as something that’s good, look forward to it at weekends with the lads etc but soon you’ll be on your own, sober, hiding away, paranoid and begging for answers as to why you can’t stop. It’s litteraly can destroy lives. It has mine, and so many others.

Everything you posted I feel mate, the feeling of not feeling yourself, pushing away loved ones all of it it part of the illness that is addiction.

I don’t know your personal situation, you mentioned your son. The way to tackle this is always going to be the same but how scary that is for you to take the first step will depend on things like if you are in a relationship, if so does your partner know? Do your pals get on it still? Has anyone noticed you’re doing a bit much and is there stigma around it etc.

I say that because I know all of that matters. I was in a relationship and loved my partner more than life and spent years lying to her, being deceitful, causing us financial troubles all because I didn’t want to tell her I had a drug problem because I was scared she would leave me. But looking back, if I was honest when it got bad I could have saved her so much heart ache and pain. Friends I was worried about knowing because I was embarrassed was another one but the ones who made digs and belittled me, obviously wasn’t real friends and the people who did care where there to support me.

I don’t want to sound harsh but the truth is, next to no one can beat cocaine addiction alone. Its one of the toughest battels you’ll ever face and if you want to stand any chance you will need proper help and support.

Go to your GP and tell them, honestly mate it isn’t that scary, they have a duty of care and will not judge you. You’ll instantly feel like a weight is lifted and they will put you in touch with local services that can help you in the way that’s best for you. Don’t worry about having to miss work for appointments because work don’t need to know the details of what it’s for and surely it is better than eventually losing your job due to carrying on.

Secondly CA I know there’s alot of stigma around it and I was very much one of the people who said I didn’t need it or didn’t want to go but I wish I went years ago! CA isn’t religious like alot of people think and you will be surrounded by people who have been through exactly what you are going through and the people their honestly want nothing more than to help eachother get better. I can’t put in to words how benificial CA can be. You’ll meet great people who may be up to 10 years off it and still attend meetings just so they can help and support people who are struggling.

Finally, and ultimately, be honest with absolutely everyone as much as you can. Tell your friends, tell your family and try to tell them the closest to the truth as possible because believe me, the real you is still in there and people love you and will want to help.

Stay strong and feel free to message anytime.

[lmb97x]

If you’re still on this website since this post let me know. This is the most relatable post to me I’ve saw. I’m 25 female and I definitely haven’t made myself bankrupt or gone too far but the way you said your using and how much is exactly the same as me.

[sc0722]

I am also in a similar position. Feel free to message me if you want x

[pamela1993]

Would maybe like to message and see if we can relate? I could do with talking to someone in same boat as me.

[Author]

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